Self Love

"Most of us are trying to figure out what to do to make our relationships better, to make them work, because we have skipped over loving me into love you. Self-love means taking the time to smile at, listen to, and tenderly embrace yourself. Without time spent this way, the thing we search and hope for in relationships will continue to elude us. That experience-total acceptance, honest acknowledgement, trusting support, and honoring of self is all the experience we need to make any relationship a good one. When we have this kind of self-love, we are more than willing to do the work, the sometimes nasty work, required to establish, build, and maintain a relationship. Without it we are bound to get lost in a pile of mess." - Iyanla Vanzant


Self-Love Means:

• You are not codependent. You know that by forgetting about your own needs in order to get love is not the healthy way to go about things.
• You don't put yourself last on the list.
• You don't compare yourself to others.
• You are patient during your meantime experiences even if they take longer than you hoped.
• You are gentle wih yourself when you are learning something new.
• You accept your God given body just the way it is.
• You do not spend time with energy drainers and avoid having a relationship with people who hurt you in any way.
• You make time for your goals and dreams.
• You trust and believe in yourself.
• You do not dwell on your negative characteristics or your faults instead you focus on the positive.
• Whether you achieve your goals or not, you pat yourself on the back for giving it your best shot.
• You do not care what others think of you. Your thinking is, "Your opinion of me is none of my business".
• You do not let yourself feel bad about something not turning out the way you wanted. Instead you congratulate yourself for trying.
• You know and remind yourself that you are attractive even if you are not attractive to a specific person.
• You do not focus on your failures, instead you focus on your successes.
• You let go of those who do not honor, celebrate, or love you. You recognize they are on their own chosen path and let them go with love.
• You spend time with your tribe. Those people who are like minded and who love you for being your authentic self.

"You may love a person dearly, but you must also accept that they may not walk the path with you. They have chosen another way, another lesson, one on which may not be complimentary to yours. Which raises the second issue: Learn to face the truth....Remember that you are always prepared for something better or protected from something worse. When the divine reason for the meantime union has been fulfilled or when the divine season for the meantime experience comes to an end, you will move on to exactly where you need to be." - Iyanla Vanzant