Self -Parenting

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family you may need to learn how to self parent yourself. The following could be signs that you did not develop in a healthy way, both emotionally and in your psyche.

• You are codependent if you find yourself needing others to make you happy, whether it be friends, spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or children. Codependent people do not know how to make themselves happy. They give to others and focus on their happiness expecting that the other person will repay them and bring them happiness. This is not how it works, we are all responsible for our own happiness. People feel it when you give to them with strings attached. Some people believe that only women have codependent tendencies. That is not so at all. Although the majority of codependents do seem to be women. What I have been taught by my savvy best friend is, "Do not give to anyone unless your own cup is full and only when you can give without expecting anything in return." Learn to make yourself happy. Ideally you are suppose to learn how to do this from your parents, but if your parents are unhappy themselves you end up growing into an adult with a warped expectation of what others should do for you.

• Developed anxiety. In a perfect world your parents would have taught you how to self soothe without using drugs, food, alcohol, work or busyness. Anxiety is a very serious disorder. It does not only keep you from being the best you, but sometimes you can't even get out of your own room without breaking into a sweat or feeling shaky and nauseous. In my own experience when I have gotten anxious I had stomach problems among other physiological issues. I have healed most of my anxiety, but a couple of days ago I began having stomach problems again. I thought it was a stomach flu.  After doing some relaxation techniques that my new friends taught me, and a beautiful prayer I received last night from a group of friends, I woke up this morning with no stomach problems whatsoever. And because I calmed down I figured out that I had been anxious (not the flu as I thought) and the reason why I was feeling so anxious. Prior to learning the relaxation techniques I would have used workaholism, busyness, inappropriately overcared about someone else's emotions and/or life in order to suppress my anxious feelings. Or I would have used food to sedate myself. No surprise my life had been so imbalanced and unhealthy for so long. 

The following is a list of causes of unhealthy self-parenting.

• depression
• emotional eating
• needyness
• emotionally challenged
• overly critical of self or others
• perfectionist tendencies
• workaholism (since this is encouraged by society, especially employers, most people do not realize they have a problem)
• useless busyness
• caretaking while ignoring your own needs
• martyr
• victim
• bully
• pattern in attracting unhealthy relationships
• OCD- Could be difficult to become aware of this one because ususally it is disguised as a good thing.
• low self-esteem
• lack of self confidence
• addictions; drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, food or even to people.

To learn more about self-parenting and how you might have been affected growing up an alcoholic household please read  Dr. John K. Pollard's Self-Parenting or John Bradshaw's Homecoming. There are many books and resources out there on self-parenting. But what I like about these books is that not only do they help you understand why you have developed certain negative behaviors, beliefs, and bad habits, but also they show you how to turn things around by teaching you healthy ways to parent yourself.

"The harsher your outer parenting is as a child, the harsher your Self-Parenting will be as an Inner Parent. The most damaging outer parenting by far seems to be that given to the children of alcoholic parents. The coping mechanisms and defense patterns required by these children for survival are equivalent to those needed by concentration camp survivors. These emotional patterns and psychological issues are extremely deep and very difficult to overcome by oneself due to the nature of self-denial and self-isolation required for survival by the victims."

                                    -Dr. John K. Pollard

To Improve Energy For Manifesting

I was recently asked by a person who is struggling with anxiety and depression for tips on how to manifest quicker. As I was going over the list of what she could do, I realized that many of the suggestions experts give on the Universal Law of Attraction are similar to the advice doctors give for relieving anxiety and depression.

The following are tips on quick manifesting. I put an A if it also applies to anxiety. A D if the tip can also be used for depression.

• A & D - Stay away from negative people (AKA energy vampires). Experts on the Law of Attraction say that our energy resonance is the equivalent of the five people we spend the most time with. So if you spend a lot of time with negative people then obviously you will have a hard time picking yourself up. Also, negative people are full of doom and gloom and if you are already anxious about the outcome of a challenging situation, spending time with these people will only make you feel worse. One of the most important rules on the LOA is to keep your energy positive. You can't successfully do that if you are spending too much time with energy drainers. Some people are vibrating so high that they are not affeccted at all by lower energy people. But us common folk need the extra protection. A friend of mine forwarded a blog video on expert on the LOA and success Scott Bolan, and in the video Scott advises to stay away from low energy people as much as possible.
• A & D- Stop listening to the news, radio, newspapers or any other negative conversations. The news sells only because people are drawn to negative information. Therefore, the same bad news is recycled over and over. Yes bad things happen, but none of the good things are mentioned. Many people, especially women, are empaths. That means that they are sensitive to other people's struggles, pain and negativity. If you already suffer from anxiety or depression then it is best not to stay up late watching the news so that the next day you can't even get out of bed. This was also mentioned in Scott's video. You might ask, as many people do, "How will I know what is going on around the world?" Believe me you will find out, it is hard not to. I am always kept informed on important issues by bad news fanatics. Especially now with the internet, you can't open up the web page and not get news. Being an empath is a good thing. It makes you a better healer, teacher, spouse, parent, coworker,etc., because of your high ability to understand what others are feeling. The problem is that if you consume yourself with negative information then you are not very helpful to anyone, not even yourself. You also tend to have a harder time getting up once you are down.
• A & D- Some people have a strong critical inner voice and they are not only filled with negativity about themselves, but everyone else. In order to heal your anxiety, depression and your inability to manifest, you must learn to recognize that the mean voice you are hearing is not yours. You picked it up from your primary caretakers as a child. If you would like more information on how this happens, read Self Parenting by Dr. John K. Pollard. I highly recommend this book to people who grew up in dysfunctional families and especially those who in which one or both parents were alcoholics.
• A & D - Get some exercise. It does not have to be high impact a walk will do. When you exercise endorphins (natural feel good brain chemicals) kick in and calms anxiety and lifts sadness. It works for manifesting as well because it releases stuck, yucky, energy and you are free from negative emotions which block manifesting of good things.
• A- Meditate. Meditation is now being recommended by mainstream doctors to relieve anxiety, stress, and high blood pressure and several other health problems. So not only does meditation have health advantages, but it also gets you in a state of mind of quick manifesting.
• A & D- Pay attention to what kind of TV shows and movies you watch and music you listen to. According to Scott Bolan even non sensitive types are affected subconsciously by negative things you see and listen to. So you will especially feel it if you are an empath. In my own experience, this happened to me not long ago. I normally stay away from certain movies, but this one day I felt pretty content and felt brave to watch The Road. It is a depressing movie and also it put me back into scarcity mentality. You can't manifest abundance of anything if you have a scarcity mentality. Not only that, even though I knew the whole thing was fake, I felt down after the movie and also began worrying about the future. Since then I have realized that no matter how good I feel, it is best to continue to be selective on what I watch and listen to.

Another friend of mine mentioned that the David Hawkins, author of Power VS. Force,  wrote in several of his other books that in order to stay in the high energy emotions of  love & above we must pay attention to who we spend our time with, what we listen to and what we watch.


Please note that I am not a therapist nor a psychologist. What I share in this blog are merely things that I have used for my own healing and growh which could benefit you as well.

Basic Tips For Life Improvement

The following are the first steps I recommend to people who say they are willing to do what it takes to improve their lives; to be their best selves and live the best life.

• Don't let present challenges bring you down and keep you from pursuing your goals. I agree that when you are putting out fires sometimes you end up being too drained to think about pursuing goals and dreams. However, I have learned that in order to move beyond the challenges you can't let go of your aspirations. When you lose faith in yourself and in accomplishing your dreams, you have less energy to enjoy in life. Which keeps you stuck where you are. It also makes you develop a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness.
• Learn to use your challenges and transform them into something positive. We all go through obstacles from time to time, they are part of life. But are you going to let hard times get the better of you or are you going to make some lemonade from the lemons? I read a story in Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book, Bad Childhood Good Life , about a woman complaining to her mother about her hard life. She was tired and wanted to give it all up. The mother then took the daughter to the kitchen and put three pots with water and food items to boil. One of them had and egg, the second one had carrots, and the third pot had coffee beans. After half an hour of boiling the items, the mother asked the daughter what she had learned. The daughter did not understand what she was referrring to. The mother explained,"..each of the three foodstuffs had been exposed to the same challenge: boiling water. The carrots went in strong and sturdy and then turned to mush. The egg went in fragile and ulitmately turned hard. And the coffee beans changed the hot water around them-producing a wonderful aroma and a delight to the taste buds. 'So, my darling daughter, when the hour is the darkest and the trials are the greatest, how do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot that loses its strenght? Are you the egg that becomes tough and hardened? Are you the coffee bean that influences the universe in a positive, hopeful way?'
• Get a support group. Often times when you are ready for something new or to grow the people who you least expect hold you back. Although most of them have good intentions, they still keep you from being the best you can be. I recommend you start finding like minded friends to help you through your new journey. These people will give you higher energy advice and help you think outside of the box. My other recommendation is to get a Transition Specialist, because when you are stuck you need someone who could give you an objective opinion in order to get out of the situation you are in an move towards your desires. The Transition Specialist will push you when you have gotten in your comfort zone or are avoiding to do something because of fear. The other reason I recommend that you get a Transition Specialist is that once you have achieved a certain amount of success and growth, you no longer relate to your old relationships, and you could feel pretty lonely. You may ask them for advice, but it could be fearful, biased, negative and destructive. Not necessarily because they want to hurt you, but because they do not know any better. People who are serious about being their best and living their best life, surround themselves with the a positive support group that will help them through their journey.

"Be more in charge of the people you surround yourself with and invest yourself in. Choose groups and individuals who help you be and do your best, not wallow in negativity. Only hang around people who for the most part- nobody's perfect-live the kind of life which you aspire. Surround yourself with good people, even if they are not your family. Avoid bad influences like the bubonic plague."

                          - Dr. Laura Shlessinger

Challenges Bring Wisdom

"There is wisdom born of having seen so much, experienced so much, felt so much, lost so much, found so much. This wisdom cannot be gained by staying comfortably in the same place, nor can it be won by fleeing from that which is frightening or unpleasant. It is unearthed from the depths of our being as we travel the precarious path of our own personal transformation and rebirth."

                                                   -Dr. Barbara De Angelis




My challenging times have indeed brought me the gift of wisdom. However, it took me a long time to realize that it was so because I was so focused on what was lost instead of what I had gained. It is very common for people to not pay attention on the gifts that are given to us in times of challenge and chaos. Mostly because our world is so focused on external results. However, just because everything looks good on the outside, it does not mean it is all good in the inside.

If you find yourself going through a time of great challenge or a time of transition, I recommend that you read How Did I Get Here? by Dr. Barbara De Angelis. I wish I had come across the book when everything in my life seemed to be falling apart. I would have understood that I was not a failure because I had come across roadblocks, disappointments and was experiencing so much inner turmoil.

This is what Barbara says about times of challenge in her book which inspired me to see my past life with pride instead of shame.


As I have come into my wisdom, I have learned not to define myself by what has happened to me on the outside, but rather by the metamorphosis that has occurred on the inside:


I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path. I define myself by the courage I've found to forge new roads.
I do not define myself by how many disappointments I've faced.
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.
I do not define myself by how how long a relationship lasted. I define myself by how much I have loved, and be willing to love again.
I do not define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.
I am not my pain.
I am not my past.
I am that which has emerged from the fire.

Do not define yourself or allow others to define you by what has happened to you or what you've been through. Do not define yourself by your pain or even your triumphs. You are more than that.

You may have divorced, but you are not a divorcee.
You may have a disease, but you are no sick.
You may have been fired from your job, but not without usefulness or purpose.
You may have lost someone or something, but you are not a loser.
You may have falied at something, but you are not a failure.

Your wounds are the sacred temple in which you have been transformed. They are the signs of your redemption; they are not your weakness. They are the road you have traveled; they are not who you are. Do not hide them, apologize for them or judge them. Embrace your scars. Honor them. When others notice them, proudly say:

"This is the remarkable story of how I was made brave and wise."




"This is the one of the most astonishing truths about navigating through unexpected and challenging times: When we finally pass through them, we discover that somewhere along the way, we became much wiser than we were when we began...And although we cannot identify the moment in which we were handed this treasure, it is indeed ours, the reward for our bravery and hard work."


                                            -Dr. Barbara De Angelis

Live With Passion!

"Living with passion means sometimes living on the edge of our comfort zone. We are awake. We are alive. We are feeling- everything. We meet the circumstances and challenges of our life boldy. It's not that we don't feel doubt or fear-it's that we learn to make our passion for growth and truth stronger than our fear. This kind of courage isn't the same as physical bravery. It is emotional courage. Emotional courage allows you to participate 100 percent in whatever you are doing and wherever you are going." - Dr. Barbara De Angelis


About twenty years ago I was listening to a Tony Robbins tape (in those days tape cassettes were used instead of CDs) in which he talked about passion. I could tell from his voice that he was indeed passionate, not only about his work, but life as a whole.  He enthusiastically encouraged us to live with passion. However, I had no idea what passion was. I didn't recall ever feeling it. My life at the time was very gloomy. I worked at a job that was very secure (or so I thought), but I did not like. The romantic relationship I was in was no longer in the infatuation stage so some ugly behaviors and patterns began to emerge between us and our relationship was dying.

It wasn't just my work or love life that was lacking passion, it was just about everything in life. At the time I did blame my lack of passion on my work and relationship, but the truth was that I was pretty much lifeless myself and was bringing this dead energy to all parts of my life.

The only time I would become excited about life was when I'd initialy set a goal for myself. But once it was achieved the passion would be gone within a short period of time. I did not know then why this would occur. In fact, it wasn't until fifteen years later that I realized why my life was lacking love, passion, joy, desire and excitement.

The following is what I have learned.

1. I had suppressed childhood wounds and emotions.  I found out years later that when we suppress negative emotions we also suppress our joy and passion. We might be excellent actors in pretending all is well and that we are happy, but deep inside we know it is a facade.
2. I worked hard at pretending I was someone I was not in order to fit in with others. I did a pretty good job at it, but I sacrificed my authentic self by doing so. At the time I did not know that there were like minded individuals in this world so in order not to feel excluded by those I spent my time with I put on whatever mask was needed in order to fit in. The couple of times I wanted to share a part of my true self I was ridiculed and made fun of, so I completely hid my true self for a long time. You can't be passionate about anything when you are filled with shame about who you truly are.
3. I did not follow my heart. Fear kept me over analysing and stressing about pretty much everything. You can not be passionate about life if you live your life ignoring your heart and dwelling in low energy emotions.
4. My self-esteem was low. When you are not loving yourself it is very difficult to feel passionate about things. You are too busy feeling insecure, inadequate and comparing yourself with others.
5. I was way too concerned about what others thought of me. If I would ask someone what they thought about me trying something different and they'd say, "That is a waste of time. It is not necessary" or "Who cares that they need help? Do something productive" -I would forget all about the things I was passionate about and only do what was seen as acceptable to those around me. 

Not until I addressed and healed the above was I able to find my passion. The passion came from within, but I was also able to find new external things to be passionate about as well. I finally began to understand why Tony Robbins was able to say, "Live with passion!" with so much excitement and energy but also walk his talk.

Don't get me wrong, I have my challenges like most everyone else and sometimes it is still hard to pick myself up quickly. However, most of the time I feel inner peace and I am content with many periods of delight and passion. The best part is that I have learned to draw these good feelings from within and not depend on externals.


"One certain way to kill your experience of passion is to care too much about what others think. This will cut you off from your intuitive wisdom. The more careful, calculated and analytical we are, the more difficult it will be to be passionate about anything. The only person's opinion that is going to matter to you at the end of this lifetime is yours. To reclaim your passion, you must push past fear of what others think of you and do what makes you think well of yourself."

                                         -Dr. Barbara De Angelis
   

Through Changes Get Support

"Everyone in your life will not celebrate the unfolding of your authentic self. Some people don't want 'the real you' to please stand up because, believe it or not, they were comfortable with your limitations, your roles, your old denials, all of which get along very nicely with theirs."

                                           -Dr. Barbara De Angeles



When someone comes to me and shares all of the changes that they wish to make in their lives, the first thing I say is to not go through those changes alone. For a couple of years I did this on my own and I struggled tremendously. I felt alone and isolated. Fortunately my intuition guided me to build my support system and find like minded individuals.

Change is difficult even for those of us who desire to improve our lives, it is even harder if there are those around you holding you back and bringing you down instead of cheering you on and  motivating you. There are various reasons why people don't want you to change. Dr. Barbara De Angeles calls them "The Loving Conspiracy". Please see my article The Loving Conspiracy 3/28/12 for more information.

• As I have mentioned above, the first thing to do is to build your support team. Especially if you have many things you want to change in your life. The best thing to do is to hire a Transition Specialist like myself. I am like Dr. De Angelis wrote in her book How Did I Get Here?, "the horn of the Rhinocerous." Rhino's use their horn for various reasons. One of them is to cut through stuff so that the rest of the body does not get harmed and also for speed to get to things. Many cultures use the horn for its healing properties. So like the horn I have already experienced numerous challenges during my own change process and therefore can not only provide you with short cuts, but also can prevent you from getting unecessarily harmed. Perhaps I could even assist you through your healing using the tools and methods I have used for my own growth and healing.
• If it is not possible to hire a Transition Specialist at this time, that's okay. You can get yourself at least an accountability partner. You have to be very savvy and selective in choosing this person. This person can't have any serious chemical addictions (smoking is an exception because it does not impair judgement although you or your partner may want to quit this for your health and wellbeing) and must be emotionally stable. Must not dwell in low energy emotions (See my article Power VS. Force) for more information. Your partner must be committed to growth. Their profession or economic level is unimportant. As long as this person holds you accountable for your weekly goals. I believe I hit the gold mine with my accountability partner. In moments when I felt like a failure for my slow progress or was comfronted with external challenges, she reminded me of the huge leaps and successes I had already achieved. She reminded me that while others may not see all the great things that I have done, there certainly has been a great change in the inside and the external would soon follow. I recall that she was the third person who comforted me when old friends had disappeared a couple of years ago and told me to trust that it was meant to be so. I could go on and on about my partner, but then I will never finish my article.
• Build a mastermind group. I first heard of this in Napolean Hill's classic, Think and Grow Rich when I read the book many years ago. At the time I thought that mastermind groups were only for business people or entrepreneurs so I never really put much thought into building one of my own. But when I felt isolated and alone through my life changes I got the idea to build one in which the only requirement is that the members are committed to growth and healing. My group has been a huge support for me. There were times I wondered what I would have done without them. We meet once a month. However, if one of us needs support in between or just needs someone to talk to we call each other up. My group is very resourceful, compassionate, understanding, helpful, savvy and like minded. While we each vary a bit on some beliefs, we respect them and each other. Again members of your group can't have chemical addictions, have serious emotional problems nor dwell in lower emotions. Otherwise it will contaminate the rest of the group. The point of the group is to support each other through change. When there is addiction involved the group tends to put all of their efforts in helping the addicted person. Which the group is not qualified to help with anyway. Same with low energy emotions. Mastermind groups are not qualified for this kind of help.  However, there is help for you out there.  
• Start relationships with spiritual people. I do not mean religious, by the way. A good example of a non religious, but spiritual group, is Unity Church. I find it amusing how some people from the Unity church I attend go to their religious church first, but then show up to our church.  I often wondered why that was so. But I imagine the reason they come to Unity church is because they feel so supported, loved, welcomed and the Reverend gives the most interesting and inspiring services. There are many groups out there. You have to try them out and see where you feel you fit the best in.
• Start you own daily communion with God. God is with us always. You do not have to wait to be with God until Sunday. The week is very long and lonely when your only time spent with God is on Sundays. I can't tell you what spiritual practice to follow in order to have a relationship with God. However, I do suggest that you begin to develop one if you do not have one already. Reverend Ray from Unity church in Riverside recommends daily meditation and prayer. I heard a savvy person say that prayer is to speak to God and meditation is to listen.
• If possible join a group of people in which you aspire to be like. I say this because you are the equivalent of the five you people who you spend most of your time with. So if you spend your time with people who dwell in lower emotions then that is what you will do as well. I did not make this up folks. I have heard this from many motivational experts, life coaches, mentors, psychologists, successful and intelligent friends, experts on the law of attrraction (they call it Phase Entanglement), spiritual friends and leaders. I am fortunate in that the group I most aspire to be like are from my church group and I get to spend a minimum of once a week with them, but more if I can or choose to.

I will continue to give you tips that could help you through your change process. However, for faster results and for help for your specific needs please contact me at carbajalzulma@gmail.com to set up a phone session. While I hope that what I write in this blog is beneficial to people, which apparently it is, based on the thousands of readers I get a month throughout the world and the numerous emails or calls, I can't tailor the information for what you need if I do not know what those needs are. I also sometimes need to ask questions to give you the best answer or I want to make sure I understood your situation or question and the best way to do that is over the phone. The first session is free and it may be all that you need.

I also write articles in the blog section for www.first30days.com which may also be of some help to you through your time of change.

Be Your Authentic Self

"Sometimes in our quest for self-knowledge we look within discomfort and disbelief at our reflection in the mirror of old values and past choices, and we do not recognize the person we see or the life we are living. Perhaps we realize that what we thought we needed isn't what we need anymore. Perhaps we discover that we're still living a choice we made when we were twenty-one, or thirty-one, and it longer fits. In these powerful moments, we feel compelled to make the outer expression of who we are more honestly and accurately represent our inner self. We are longing  to live a more authentic life."


                                                                - Dr. Barbara De Angelis



It gets to a point in your life when you are so tired of pretending you are someone you are not or  become fed up with going along with what others believe when you know in your heart that it is not the truth.When you begin discovering who you really are you are not okay with keeping up with appearances in order not to make any waves. You also realize that many people love the persona or role you have taken up for so many years, but once you start revealing your true self they dislike it very much and/or it makes them feel uncomfortable.



This is what Dr. Barbara De Angelis writes about what it means to be your Authentic Self:

• Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values.
• Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.
• Feeling you can be yourself and be loved, rather than having to act in ways you feel will be acceptable to others.
• Accepting and honoring all parts of yourself rather than hiding or lying about them.
• Communicating the truth when you need to, even though it might create conflict or tension.
• Not settling for less that what you know you deserve in your relationships.
• Asking for what you want and need from others.

While learning more of who I am is 100% better that remaining stuck in roles that have not fit me for at least ten years,  it has been extremely challenging living more as my true self. Losing relationships has been the worse. A couple of years ago I was feeling sad about this and I mentioned it to a spiritual friend. He informed me that while I am mourning the loss, to know that it is natural for this to happen when you have gone through growth and learning, especially as much as I have. He added that those people who are meant to remain in my life will remain and those who are meant to leave it will do so.  It is the Universal Law of Attraction he said. Like attracts like.

I had forgotten about this until yesterday when I spoke to a man (A friend of a friend) I admire for not only his financial success, but also his high spiritual awareness and intuition. In spite of his busy schedule he called me to give me a bit of guidance. While I was only expecting career or business tips, he gave me so much more. He mentioned that in his experience and what he has witnessed from the experience of others is that when people go through extensive growth and experienced spiritual "awakenings"; relationships, circumstances, jobs and environments will change or disappear. There is nothing that you could do about it. Even if you try to hold on or turn things back to how they were you can't do it because your energy has shifted. However, he advised not to judge myself or others for the changes because shame, guilt, criticism are extremely low frequency emotions which block love and this will keep me from living a life that resonates with who I truly am.

 
Being your true self could mean you experience loss of some sort.  But sometimes it just means change. Not many people like change even if the change is a good thing. When I was in labor and about to close the door of my home to head out to the hospital, I recall feeling deep sadness at the thought of what I'd be losing even though my baby was very much wanted and welcomed.  Ofcourse once I had my little guy in my arms all of that sadness was forgotten and all I felt was unconditional love.  My son has been the most important person in my life and I am aware that the time will come soon when he will leave to go to college and while I know I will be proud and the change will be good, at least for him, I still feel sadness when I think about it.  So as you see even when the change is good we sometimes can't help to feel at least some sadness.

This is why being your authentic self could be extremely challenging. We don't like change. We rather pretend that we are someone we are not or that everything is okay just as it is when clearly it is not. The funny thing is that change has already happened in the inside and that is why we keep getting those feelings alerting us that something is off. Some people experience deep depression. Others live for decades in denial.  But we all experience at least some kind of awareness that something is not right when we are not being our true selves.


Only you can decide if you have the courage and strenght to be true to yourself. If you decide to be true to you, I highly recommend that you do not make any changes alone. Especially not any big changes that may potentially cause some pain to yourself or others. Find people who will support you through what is to come. Make sure you choose wise, emotionally stable, positive and level headed people. Allow your intuition to be your guide to find them. They could be family members, accountability partners, friends, support group or church group peers.



"It is unrealistic for us to expect that we will remain the same with the same values, concerns, dreams and needs for decades. It is unrealistic for us to expect that we will not change...Frequently, whether we know it or not, by resisting change, by being attached to our investment of time and energy spent in choices that once served us but no longer do, we have already relinquished much of ourselves-in relationships that are stagnant or passionless, in jobs that are dissatisfying, in life choices that do not serve our highest good." 

                                                  
                             

                                           - Dr. Barbara De Angelis