Old Patterns Keep Us Stuck In A Rut

"It may be obvious that we continue to treat ourselves the way we were treated as children, but I lived a diverse and seemingly aware life for more than forty years without figuring it out. I suspect many other people have, too. Only becoming conscious of old and unchosen patterns allows us to change them, and even so, change, not matter how much for the better, still feels cold and lonely at first-as if we were out there on the edge of the universe with the wind whistling past our ears-because it doesn't feel like home. Old patterns, no matter how negative and painful they may be, have an incredible magnetic power- because they do feel like home." - Gloria Steinem




Like Gloria Steinem I too have become aware after almost forty years that I was treating myself precisely like I was treated as a child. Now that I am consciously aware of it, I am finally making changes. It has been difficult even though the changes have been for the better. It was mostly hard for me to get out of my comfort zone because I felt so alone. I did not think about getting support until years later, so I'd keep reverting to old patterns I had been trying to break for so long.

The support team has helped me during my time of change. Especially because treating myself with respect and honor and requiring others to do the same felt alien to me. I've always gone along with what others wanted. I do not like conflict so I learned to smile and pretend everything was alright when it really was not. It took me over forty years to stand up for myself.

According to Dr. Doreen Virtue, people who grow up in healthy families do not allow others to treat them poorly when they become adults. No matter who it is, a coworker, friend, boss,etc. A person who grows up in a healthy family will not hesitate to leave a situation or a person who is not honoring and respecting them. However, those people who grow up in a dysfunctional family convince themselves that the bad treatment that they are receiving from others is not that bad.

Another pattern that has been difficult for me to break has been in the dating arena. My Love Map  was extremely warped for a long time. I unconciously chose partners that were extremely bad for me because they felt like home. No matter how unhealthy the relationship was I had a hard time leaving. Until finally I was told by my spirit guides that I deserve so much better.


If you find yourself stuck in a rut in an area in your life consider that perhaps you do not want to leave your comfort zone. Until we become aware of why we do what we do, we do not change to improve our lives.