Thursday, August 30, 2012

Overcoming Emotional Eating

"Food satisfies when the hunger is physical, and only then can it be considered nourishment. Every other time you 'use' food, you leave yourself. You walk in the door and leave yourself starving. You wouldn't leave your best friend in time of need. You wouldn't even leave an acquaintance.  But you leave yourself over and over and each time it happens you come closer to starvation."

                    - Geneen Roth, author of Feeding the Hungry Heart






I got my compulsive and addictive behaviors from my parents. It took me a while to discover that I even had a problem. Mainly because my compulsiveness and addiction was not alcoholism like my father's nor was it food like my mother's. It was workaholism. This addiction to work is not seen as a negative behavior in our society. Quite the opposite actually. Especially to employers. No surprise I have been the star employee in many situations.

However, workaholism is an addiction and a compulsive behavior. I had been very proud of myself for not picking up drinking in my life to deal with life challenges. I also was not aware that my mother used food to deal with hers.  But, when I lost my 9 to 5 job, I was under so much stress I substituted work with food as a way to cope for all of the uncomfortable feelings that came up during this time. I was not aware of what I was doing ofcourse. Until my clothes no longer fit me. Then like most Americans I decided that getting on a diet was the answer. But I just could not stick to the diets. I kept wondering what was wrong with me.

Until finally I figured out that  what I was doing was eating in order to cope with my negative situation and therefore no diet was going to work until I found better ways to deal with my emotions. The following are tools that I use to prevent myself from using food to cope with life challenges.

  •  I walk almost daily. I gained so much weight that I was in severe pain when I was trying to get back to my usual exercise routine. But I knew how important it was to do at least some exercise for my emotional well being, so I started walking.
  • I no longer suppress my feelings. Or at least not usually. If there is not a friend available to talk to I journal. I have come up with a technique of not only venting out my feelings, but also to release them in the writing process. It does not do me any good to use food to suppress how I am feeling and sometines there is nothing that could be done that will fix things, but to accept a situation (for now). Writing has been my favorite weapon to deal with frustration, sadness, and anger.
  • I stand up for myself. I use to hold my anger in when a power hungry employer tried to bully me or when my mother would bring me her criticism and negativity. Not anymore. I learned how to assert myself in a healthy way. Ironically the bullies disappeared from my life and my negative mother no longer affects me.  But I still remember how I used work and later food to suppress uncomfortable feelings instead of showing some assertiveness. Even my son is proud of me now. He says to me, "Way to go mom! About time you stand up for yourself."
  • I meditate daily. This is no longer a bizarre practice for even mainstream people. In fact, when I was under so much stress when I lost my job, a Kaiser Permanente doctor advised me to meditate to reduce my blood pressure, anxiety and stress. I am not kidding. It was part of the doctor's prescription. At the time I did not listen though. I thought, "Who has time to meditate? I need to get a job ASAP!" But now I realize how important meditation is not only for my overall health and well being, but to prevent emotional eating.
  • I recite the AA prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." When you grow up in a dysfunctional environment like I grew up in, you tend to have a control issue. When you feel you are losing control, even if it is something you never really controlled in the first place, you go bonkers. I had to train myself to let go of the things I could not control. This was a challenge for me. But the AA serenity prayer has been a big help to me.
  • I practice self-care. Another of the problems I developed growing up in such a chaotic environment was that I took on the caretaker role. It was the only way I knew how to survive in such a dysfunctional family life. Sacrificing my own needs for the sake of others. However, now I know that part of my emotional eating was caused because it was the only way I knew how to care for me. I knew how to care for others and instinctively knew exactly what others needed, but I had no clue what I needed so I used food. Now I know better ways to practice self-care. Sometimes I forget and go back to my old patterns. But for the most part I am doing much better.

"The essential question is: Will you feed yourself  with 'matters necessary for growth,' or will you continue to ignore your needs, killing yourself slowly with food and drink? Will you nourish yourself or wont you?" - Geneen Roth
      If you would like more information please contact me at carbajalzulma@gmail.com. Also see related articles: Emotional Eating and Overeating 8/16/12; Dieting Facts 8/3/12; Is Your Diet Killing You? 7/14/12; Popular Diets 8/11/12. 

    Tuesday, August 28, 2012

    Gratitude and The Law of Attraction

    "The more gratefully we fix our minds to the Supreme when good things come to us, the more good things we will receive; and the more rapidly they will come; and the reason simply is that that the mental attitude of gratitude  draws the mind into closer touch with the source from which blessings come. " - Wallace D. Wattles, author of The Science of Getting Rich


    Feeling gratitude is not very easy to accomplish when things are not going so good for us. Yet it is most necessary to shift things around.  Feeling appreciation for the little things that we do have brings us more of the same. You might think that you do not have much to be grateful for. And I admit that there have been times that I thought the same. But when I see others who have much less such as  the people in the movie Machine Gun Preacher, based on a true story, I realize how we truly have a lot to be grateful for in this country.

    Even the poorest among us do not have to worry about our children being blasted by a bomb as they casually walk across a field.  Nor do we need to be concerned that the military will kill us and kidnap our children to do unimaginable things to them. I wont go on and on about the movie, but if you are feeling that your life is lousy watch the movie which will get you to realize just how blessed you really are. Hundreds of children are orphanned because of the evil that goes on in that country.

    In our country there are people like the author of The Happiness Project who is not only wealthy but also has the most perfect life which she even admits to having. Yet she says that she could be happier. I would say to someone like her that she take a look at how other people live even in our own country and perhaps she could show some gratitude for the perfect life she was given. Also, instead of wallowing about how much happier she could be, she should help others who are not as fortunate as she and I guarantee that it will make her feel happier. You will see similar people like the author of The Happiness Project in the movie Machine Gun Preacher who live with immense wealth and most extravangantly yet claim they can not afford to spare money to help those who have real need. And I am not talking about massive amounts of money here. It's money that many of them make in an hour or two. Also money that they spend on a daily basis on things they really do not need and will sit in their closets for months even years without being used.


    For those of you who are not so fortunate to be drowning in riches or have difficulty attracting good things to you the key to change things may be learning to feel appreciation for what you do have. The more we focus on lack the more of it we get. But if we focus on things that make us feel appreciation we get more to be grateful for.

    When I am feeling gloomy, which if you know anything about the Law of Attraction is very repelling to attract positive things, I think about at least twenty things a day to be grateful for. Sometimes when I can't think of anything else I add things to my list that we normally do not appreciate. Such as having running water, clean water to drink, food in my kitchen, clothes on my back, a healthy child, a bed to sleep on, a home to shelter me, and many other things that we usually take for granted.


    I normally see results right away when I practice gratitude. But even if I don't see physical results I experience a feeling of well being and happiness which as you know are very powerful feelings needed to attract positive things. So even if I do not get what I want instantly I know that it is coming soon because I am in a positive feeling place.


    You do not have to take my word for it. Experiment with gratitude yourself. When I come across a new idea or method of doing things I don't just believe that it works. I try out myself first. But I do at  least try it out.

    Wednesday, August 22, 2012

    Fear of Commitment


    Usually when people speak of fear of commitment they are referring to men. However, many women also have a fear of commitment and the numbers are increasing. Although it is very difficult to detect on women because the signs show up in different ways than they do for men.

    Experts say that part of the reason is because men are still the ones who generally initiate dates and propose for marriage. Women are more passive and could use the excuse that no good men ask them out on dates or that they want to marry, but the man does not want to commit.

    If you repeatedly find yourself in relationships where a man does not want to commit, has serious character flaws or is emotionally unavailable, then these are clues that you have a fear of commitment. You may say that it is impossible because you give so much to the relationship and insist that should he change and propose you'd marry him in an instant.

    The truth is that you picked him precisely because of his flaws. Maybe not consciously, but unconsciously for sure.  When we are afraid of love we get hooked on people and relationships who are doomed to fail from the start. This way we ensure that the relationship never gets to the commitment stage. Should the person change his ways, be all that we want him to be and commit, we'd find an excuse as to why we can not commit and may also break up the relationship.

    Some use various methods to force people to break up with them by cheating or doing something unforgivable so that there is no way the significant other will want to continue with the relationship. I know a man who has been engaged two times and in both cases he cheated on his fiance to break up the relationship.  Another time he broke up with a girlfriend when she brought some clothes over to his home. They had been dating for years and she helped him get through the hardest time of his life. He seemed devoted to her and even ignored family members who warned him she had some serious character flaws.  He defended her the whole time.  After she helped him get through some extreme life challenges they got very close and she asssumed that the next step was for her to move in. Needless to say she was shocked when he broke up with her on the spot just because she took a few personal items to his home. When I asked him what had happened to cause him to back out of these relationships he blamed it on the women. Which is odd because he was all for exclusivity even marriage until they requested the wedding date or wanted to move in. Then all of a sudden these women had deep flaws he was not aware of before even though he dated these women for years and I am sure these flaws where there since the beginning.


    Although this example was of a man there are many women who do this as well. There are numerous of other ways to break up or create distance in relationships. You might do this by saying you are too busy with work, school or both to date someone exclusively. I know a woman who does this. Her boyfriend broke up with her recently, but when they were together they rarely saw each other anyway. Now they go out as "friends" and she informed me the other day that she likes it this way because she is so busy with her life she does not have time for the demands of dating exclusively much less marriage.  I know this woman farely well and if anyone has time and is in a good circumstantial place to date is her. My gut tells me she has commitment issues and she is not even aware of it.

    I have used my own excuses in the past as to why I was not married. I fooled many people into believing that all I wanted was marriage. I even fooled myself. But after doing extensive healing on several areas of my life I found out that I had a  fear of commitment. My parents' marriage was so dysfunctional that I had a bad perception of what marriage was. Not until recently have I seen examples of good marriages and realized that my marriage does not have to be like my parents' marriage.

    I still have some apprehension when it comes to long term commitment for too many reasons to list here. However, now it is more healthy and reasonable. I have learned that it is normal to have some fear. The importance is to become of aware of it so that we are not doing things unconsciously to hurt ourselves or others. Ironically when we are not aware of our fear, which is there to protect us, we create even more drama in our lives unconsciously dating dysfunctional people we will never have to commit to.

    My practice now is to stay aware and present while dating. Not trying to make anything happen, just paying attention to who the person I am dating really is instead of fantasing about the future or pushing for exclusivity. Some family members and friends assume that because I am a woman, 40 years old, and normal, I should be hunting for a man to trap and manipulate to marry me.  But I know better than that. This is precisely how my mother got my father to marry her and things did not turn out so well for either of them. I have also seen countless of other women do the same who live in loveless marriages.

    I am no longer attracting inadequate men and when someone dysfunctional crosses my path I am able to spot him right away. I have healed my distorted deep fears of commitment. When a fear does come up I now ask myself if the fear is reasonable or if it is because of something that happened in the past.


    I share this article because there are a couple of people I care about who truly believe they want marriage and children, but seem to be repeating the same dysfunctional patterns when it comes to love. They too witnessed unhealthy marriages in their childhood. I hope that they realize it is time for some healing before it is too late.


    If you'd like more information on this topic I currently give advice in forums for http://www.divinecaroline.com.




    Friday, August 17, 2012

    Self-Esteem and The Law of Attraction


    Self-Esteem is not given much importance to most people. I could tell by the reaction I get when someone wants me to elaborate on what I coach on and I mention that one of the things I do is help people improve their self-esteem. I also did not give self-esteem much significance a few years back. Mainly because I confused it with conceit.

    Let me explain the difference. Conceit is when the basis of your worth is on externals. Such as what job, money, relationship and lifestyle you have. Or how much you weigh, your appearance or what your romantic partner looks like. Your children and what they do could also be used as a measure of your worth. You also spend your time bragging about your accomplishments or on what you have.

    I am sure that many of you know people like this. I sure do. They are completely annoying.  Unfortunately one of my siblings is married to one of these people. The reason that people are conceited is that deep down they  know that they really do not have any substance. So they need to create an illusion of how perfect they are so that others will think highly of  them. Some people who are also shallow do believe the illusion and lies. But those who are more real want to just say, "Shut up already!"

    In her book Celebrate Yourself, Dorothy Corkille Briggs wrote, "If you live in quiet, deep gladness about your person, you don't need outer trappings or constant strokes to reassure yourself that you are okay...Conceit only masks lack of true self-love."


    When you have a positive self-esteem you do not have to prove your worth to anyone. Therefore, there is no need for bragging. You know that your true value has nothing to do with externals. You recognize that you do have shortcomings, but you mainly focus on your magnificence. Ironically you accomplish things more easily and joyfully than those people who are conceited. The reason for this is that your spirit is driving you to pursue goals. Conceited people disregard the spirit and listen only to the ego. When you pursue only ego based goals there is no life in what you do. You may have the externals and accomplish much, but inside you are still an empty shell.

    Also, people with high self-esteem are very giving. However, they do not give if their own cup is empty.  But since their cup is usually not only full but overflowing, they are regular givers. Conceited people do not care about giving. They just want more stuff and more money for ego centered reasons and to prove to others how much better they are. They hold on tight to everything. Because they were able to beat the Joneses they are arrogant. Pay attention next time you are with someone conceited and notice how they try to make you feel as though they are superior to you. Some of these people do not hesitate to let you know that they believe you are inferior to them.

    So now you know the difference between healthy self-eteem and being conceited. Let's get to why good self-esteem is important when it comes to the law of attraction.

    1. When you have a healthy self-esteem your energy is magnetic to healthy romantic partners.  For example, you may not be perfect externally, but you draw to you wonderful and even attractive romantic partners. I know many women who are definitely not attractive by mainstream standards, but who have attracted the most wonderful husbands. In fact, many women who are considered attractive in our society would do anything to get someone to treat them half as good as their homely married sisters.
    2. You attract the best jobs. While employers may not exactly be able to pinpoint why they like you more over a more qualified and experienced person, they hire you anyway. There is a certain magic that people with good self-esteem have which other people, including employers, just want to be around.
    3. Not only do people magnetize towards you, but also good things and experiences. I believe that the reason for this is that when you feel good about you, your energy is open to receiving. When you do not feel good about you, your energy is extremely repelling and blocks all positive things and experiences from coming to you.

    To learn more about how positive self-esteem is so attractive or if you need help with improving your self-esteem, please contact me on Facebook. I could also be reached at carbajalzulma@gmail.com


    Also, in a few months I will be having a teleseminar and I am currently preparing the details of what will be discussed. I would like you to share with me under the comments section below what particular subject you'd like me to talk about. I want to make sure that I cover topics that are important to you. The teleseminar will be free to all of my clients and blog viewers. If you'd like to know more please email me.


    Thursday, August 16, 2012

    Emotional Eating and Overeating

    "Many compulsive eaters believe that their hunger would be relieved if they were thin. They think that being thin would make everything alright:that being thin would make them happy. I've worked with many people who refuse to believe that their pain would not disappear if they were thin. Despite the fact that most of them have already been thin once or twice, the tenacity with which they hold onto 'thinness as happiness' prevents them from getting to the root of their hunger ."
                                                                                     -Geneen Roth


    Many people eat for reasons other than hunger, at least sometimes. When it becomes a problem is when emotional eating is the sole tool for dealing with life challenges. A lot of us were not given good information as to how to handle certain situations and this is especially true if one or both of your parents was addicted to food, drugs or alcohol.

    Usually when people have struggled with overeating they think that it is because they have no willpower. They are not even aware that they are using food to cope with life, just like an alcoholic or a drug user does. I write this article for those people who struggle with being at a healthy weight and wonder why they keep sabotaging themselves when they want to eat normally. 

    Here are some of the reasons that may be preventing you from eating healthfully:

    • When you are going through a time of stress. Food sedates those who live their lives full of stress and drama. It is very hard to manage weight when your only tool for dealing with stress is by eating.
    • You took on the role of a caretaker. Caretakers know exactly what others need and are mostly focused on giving than receiving. They rarely take time for themselves and when they do they feel guilty. It is ironic that they are so good at knowing what others need, but don't know how to take care of themselves other than using food as a supplement for their true needs. Such as getting some more sleep or rest.
    • Suppressing childhood trauma. When there are things in our childhood that are too painful to look at, we use food to tranquilize us. Sometimes people minimize their pain from childhood, but it shows up in certain areas of our lives as evidence that we are deeply wounded. One of the ways is by having emotional eating or overeating patterns.
    • Some people eat to cope with daily life's hassles. They don't necessarily have deep wounds, but in order to feel content and not so affected by life challenges they overeat.
    • Overworked people tend to also overeat or eat when they are not biologically hungry. I know a woman who has her own business. One time I visited her while she was at work and just being there made me feel stressed out. It was late in the afternoon and she still had not had lunch. Actually she did not even have breakfast. She asked me to stay so that I could have lunch with her. I thought we were going somewhere, but she was such a workaholic she did not want to leave the office. The whole time she was getting interrupted and because she was not paying attention to what she was eating she ended up eating too much. She confessed that this was her daily routine not a one time hectic day. I then understood why she had gained so much weight since I had last seen her. I saw her again last month and she was even bigger still.
    • Feeling unloved by others and themselves. There are people who feel very lonely and for various reasons have not learned to love themselves or have had difficulty finding love. Mainly because they are afraid to put themselves out there. To these people food is love.
    • Sometimes food is used as a gift or reward. It is easier to handle a life challenge when you know you will receive a huge reward in the end. Unfortunately people too often use food as a reward.
    • Food can be used to bring some excitement into our lives when life is dull or boring. Not knowing other ways to handle boredom causes people to overeat.
    • Unmet needs could also be a reason for emotional eating or overeating. It is quicker and easier to use food to alleviate uncomfortable feelings when your husband or boyfriend is not meeting your needs. It is also less scarier. It does not take courage to eat, but confronting your significant other might be very difficult and require lots of strenght.


    These are just some of the reasons we eat that have nothing to do with biological hunger. In case you are beating yourself up for not being able to lose weight see if any of the above resonate with you. You might have a deeper issue than a weight problem. From my experience you can't fix things from the outside (at least not permanently) until you fix what is going on in the inside first.


    "Every time you reach for food when you are not hungry, you are getting a signal of need. If you recognize that, you're lucky, you've found a way of getting your own attention. Some people never realize the access they have to their inner selves. Some people become cut off from their bodies and so attuned to everyone else's needs, judgements, and demands that they ignore their own. They learn how to nourish their spouses, children, friends, but they don't take time to learn to feed themselves...The drive to eat compulsively is not an uncontrollable instinct;it's a cry for help."
                                                       
                                                               -Geneen Roth

    Wednesday, August 15, 2012

    Law of Attraction Tips


    "For the rest of my life there are two days that will never again trouble me. The first day is yesterday with all its blunders and tears,its follies and defeats. Yesterday has passed away beyond my control forever. The other day is tomorrow with its pitfalls and threats, its dangers and mystery. Until the sun rises again. I have no stake in tomorrow, for it is still unborn."

                                                        -Og Mandino, in The Return of the Ragpicker




    When I have found myself stuck repeating the same patterns over and over the following tools have helped me break free or at the very least start shifting my energy so that things improve.


    •  I do not think about my past mistakes. I remind myself that I did the best I could with the understanding and awareness that I had at the time. If I keep on thinking about past mistakes I am more likely to repeat them and stay stuck in similar situations.
    • I do not concern myself about the future. This is hard to do when you are going through serious life challenges. But the more we think about the worse case scenario the more likely it will happen.  I am not saying that we live in denial of what could happen. But we can't think about solutions when we are stuck in fear. Besides the more we think about what we fear the more the momentum is increased to create a self fulfilling prophecy.
    • I do not stay stuck in my emotions. While it is not possible not to feel our negative emotions and it sure is not a good idea to suppress them, negative emotions can bring your worse fears to you a lot faster. Our emotions are very powerful when it comes to manifesting. We are human beings so we will feel negative emotions throughout our life.  However, if you are afraid about what your emotions are attracting it will make things worse. Instead learn to release them in a healthy way.
    • I take action towards what I want without ignoring my other responsibilities . I keep in mind that things do not happen overnight. But I could take small baby steps in the meantime to start the momentum towards what I want. I notice that many people say they want something, but they just fantasize about it. They are addicted to the yearning, but do not believe in themselves enough to at least take small steps.
    • I practice self care. You might wonder what this has to do with the Law of Attraction. But I noticed that when I am exhausted and depleted my energy actually repels my desires. I thought I was bringing my dreams faster by working excessive hours including on weekends. But it seemed that the more I worked the more I had to work and things were not coming to me as much as when I was taking time to relax and maintain my self care.



    If you would like more tips on the LOA please contact me at carbajalzulma@gmail.com.  You could also view an article related to this one on first30days.com called Rebuilding My Life From The Inside Out.

    Tuesday, August 14, 2012

    Pick A Different Flavor


    "There isn't just one type of guy who is going to find you perfectly lovable. There are lots! So there are probably many types out there who would totally turn you on that you don't even know exist. Think of it like this: It's like eating only chocolate chip ice cream your whole life. Yes, you love vanilla ice cream, you love chocolate chips, and it's delicious and satisfying, but maybe there's another flavor out there-say, cookie dough-that you've never tried:maybe one you don't know about but would love as much or more if only you just tasted it."

                   - Dr. Georgia Witkin, author of  It's Not You, It's Him


    Most of us have a certain type of person that we are normally attracted to. If a person does not meet  our specific criteria we label that person as not our type and do not give him the time of day. What I have found interesting is that many of the relationship experts who have found their true love say that it is a good idea to date someone different from time to time because "The One" will not look like you expect him to. Laura Doyle, author of The Surrendered Single, says that it is especially important to date someone different who you are not attracted to right away if you have a history of falling for unpredictable men.

    Often women make the mistake of perceiving a good guy as boring.  These women mistake the excitement of being with a bad man who is unreliable as love. But it actually is not love. What happens is that the thrill of wondering, "Does he love me or love me not?" and the guessing if he is going to be a show or no show builds anxiety which many confuse as being excitement and love.

    Many people get addicted to the roller coaster ride. Sort of like when you play the slot machines. The excitement of the possibility of winning keeps you hooked. Then if a nice guy comes along who calls when he says he is going to call, shows up when he says he is going to show up, does not keep you wondering how he feels about you- you do not give him the time of day.

    While you don't get the same adrenaline rush with a good guy he is not boring. Ofcourse you have to experience this yourself to believe me.  Maybe you'll be more motivated to try a "different flavor" if I tell you that if you are serious about finding true love then dating a good guy is the only way to go.

    The good guy doesn't have to look like a troll. We all should have some standards. But if he looks decent, just different than you are use to or prefer, give him a chance. You may not be doing back flips for him, but if you wait some time who knows. I have a friend who did just that. She was not initially attracted to her husband when she met him. But she was tired of the roller coaster rides, betrayals, cheating and drama of dating her type. So she dated him. He turned out to be the sweetest, most attentive, loving and adoring husband. They have now been married for almost twenty years.

    I know that many times women think that they could change a bad guy into a good guy. But I have not heard of any woman being able to accomplish that. Yet many still keep on trying.  I am guilty of doing this twelve years ago. After wasting so much of my life trying to convince someone to change, I was missing out on working on myself to get ready for my true love. Do not make a man your life project. While it is good to keep growing and improving, the man you date should be enough for you as he is. If he falls short in important areas, then you have to be able to say...Next!!!


     "When you are in love with a man's potential, you're not looking at him as a person-you see him as a project. He's a goal on your 'to do' list...Tuesday: Fix Jim."

                                                  - Barbara De Angelis Ph.D.


    "You don't get the same adrenalive rush when a guy does what he says he is going to do and is there on time. You might begin to think that you are not attracted to the good guys because of the lack of adrenaline rush. If you are use to dating cheaters, users and abusers, a good guy wont give you the same feeling of intensity that you are used to. That does not mean you are not attracted to him."

                                                               -Laura Doyle



    "A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life in order to be thankful for a good one."

                                                               -Mae West

                                               
    If you'd like to see another site with topics related to this one take a look at http://havetherelationshipyouwant.com

    Monday, August 13, 2012

    Active & Receptive Modes and The Law of Attraction

    "If we operate mainly in the active mode, we may accomplish a great deal but are likely to find it a struggle and exhaust ourselves in the process. If we operate mainly in the receptive mode, we may attract many people and opportunities but have difficulty following through with action that's called for, and therefore feel depressed or inadequate. So we need to become aware of which polarity we tend to rely on, and learn how to develop its opposite as well. Most truly successful and prosperous people have balance of both." -Shakti Gawain


    Our culture tends to value the active mode more than the receptive mode. This is why so many people feel depleted and exhausted. Most people have a hard time relaxing because it is so ingrained in us that it is better to be active than receptive. One is not better than the other. It is important to have a healthy balance of both.I have noticed that when a person does choose to spend some time relaxing others perceive him/her as being lazy and then the person relaxing feels guilty about taking time to replenish.

    In my own experience, I've had a hard time balancing both energies. Like most people, I tend to be in the active mode. Some people do not know this about me. They say that I appear calm, relaxed, and peaceful, plus I do a lot of reading. As it turns I do read plenty, but I read books that pertain to my business. So this is not really relaxing.

    I have been learning the hard way to balance both active and receptive energies. When I do not pay attention to the signs that I need a break I end up feeling exhausted and depleted or sometimes even sick. This happens because our subconscious takes over when we are ignoring our need for our body to relax and rest. If it wasn't for our subconscious forcing us to rest we'd literally work ourselves to death. Or at least many of us would.

    The interesting thing that I have learned is that when you balance both these energies equally things manifest a lot faster. You are taking the action steps required towards your goals but also receptive to  spirit's help to bring them to you. It is a very powerful way to live. But since we are programmed into believing that action is better, most people are not in this magnetic yet dynamic state. Therefore life seems like a huge struggle because people feel they can only get what they want through working super hard.

    This is a very difficult belief system to delete. Although not impossible. It just takes some effort to remind yourself frequently that your body needs rest and relaxation to replenish itself. I am learning to do this as well. I remind myself that I can only do my best and that God will take over the rest.


    Saturday, August 11, 2012

    Popular Diets



    "The American woman cure-all. The Diet. Being thin means being happy. Diets don't work. If they did, binges wouldn't exist. Diets can't work they create in you a desire  of what you can't have. If you weren't obsessed with food before you dieted, you are by the time you finish."
                                                               -Geneen Roth



    Here is a list of things I learned about some of the most popular diets.



    Low Calorie Diets:

    • If you don't eat enough food we set off a biological reaction that turns on our eating drive both physically and psychologically.
    • Because eating enough food is essential for the survival of the species, it does not matter how much will power your have, you are most likely to give in to hunger.
    • Restricting or fasting is exceptionally damaging to control appetite. This causes the neurochemicals switches in our brains to induce us to eat.
    • Food restriction is counter productive. Not just because of your brain chemistry which will induce you to eat, but it slows down your metabolism, your physical energy is low, affects your moods and your state of mind.
    • Even if you use all your will power to restrict your eating, your body still needs energy to function. Therefore it will start to cannabalize on itself. Taking nutrients from muscles and vital organs. This is why people think they have lost fat weight. But actually they lost muscle or water weight.
    • These diets are correlated with causing eating disorders. Please see my article Dieting Facts for more information.

    No Carb or Low Carb Diets:
    • Carbohydrates is the preffered source of energy of our body. Just ask athletes what their primary source of energy is.
    • Neuropeptide Y (NPY) is a chemical produced by our brain which triggers our desire to eat carbohydrates. If you are undernourished, which low calorie diets cause, NPY is driven into action. This is why people go into carbohydrate binges.It is not lack of willpower it is your biology.
    • In times of stress or when using more fuel (such as intense exercising),  the brain makes more  NPY. When you eat carbohydrates NPY is turned off. Carbohydrates help produce serotonin which turns off the production of NPY. Which then turns off the desire for carbohydrates.
    • Our desire for carbohydrates is triggered when we eat low calorie diets because of the importance of carbohydrates to provide food energy. Cells function best when they receive a certain level of carbohydrates in the form of glucose. Red blood cells rely exclusively on glucose for fuel. Some of it is stored in the liver for only a few hours to provide the required glucose needed for the blood when the supply is low. The only way to refill the fuel reserve in the liver is to eat.
    • When you do not eat enough carbohydrates the body has to look for other ways to supply the vital energy so it takes it from the muscles. The protein in the muscles will be taken apart and converted into energy, primarily in the form of glucose.
    • High protein diets do not prevent the occurance of muscle dismantling. Protein is needed to maintain and build muscles, hormones, enzynes, and cells in the body. When carbohydrates and energy are low, the protein is shifted from the primary role to provide fuel.
    • It is a false belief that if the body is low on fuel then fat will be burned off.  See the following information from nutritionists Evelyn Tribole M.S.,.R.D. and Elyse Resch M.S., R.D.


                "One of the reasons people lose weight so quickly on low-carbohydrate or fasting diets is that they are devouring their own protein tissues as fuel. Since protein contains only half as many calories per pound as fat, it disappears twice as fast. With each pound of body protein, three or four pounds of water weight are lost. If your body were to continue to consume itself at this rate, death would occur within ten days. After all, the liver, heart muscle and lung tissue-all vital tissues-are being burned as fuel. Even when the heart muscle is deteriotating, it still has to keep up the same amount of work, with less power and slower heart rate.  In essence, the cannabalizing heart muscle has to work harder with a smaller faulty engine; pumping performance is not reduced in proportion to the amount of heart tissue lost.
               Eventually, the body can convert stored fat to a form of usable energy for the brain and nervous system called ketones.The process is known as ketosis. Ketosis is an adaptation to a prolonged fasting or carbohydrate deprivation. But only half  of the brain's cells can use these compunds of energy. Therefore, when fat is being used under these deprivation conditions, the body's lean tissue (protein) continues to be lost at a rapid rate in order to supply glucose to nervous system cells that cannot use ketones as fuel. The bottom line? Adequate carbohydrates and energy are important!"    



    
    Liquid  Diets (examples: Slim-Fast or Herbalife)

    • These diets have the same negative affects on the body, mind and emotions as the low carbohydrate and low calorie diets.
    • The added consequence is that since you are only allowed one regular meal a day, you tend to overeat because you are ravenous by the time you get to eat your one meal.  Your mind is telling you to eat as much as possible because it will be the only real meal you will get.
    • Liquid diets do not provide nearly enough fuel for people who are physically active. They do not even provide enough fuel for the people who are not.
    • A few months ago, I found a book written by a woman who was a liquid diet expert for celebrities who developed a heart problem and required two emergency heart operations at a very young age (under 40 yrs. old). Since low calorie, no carbs, and liquid diets do not provide long lasting weight loss and result in yo-yo dieting, they are extremely dangerous to the heart. Diets are correlated with heart diseases and high blood pressure.  The woman did not mention in her book how her liquid diet might have caused her heart disease. However, I have done extensive research on heart health and the experts and doctors agree on how dangerous dieting, especially yo-yo dieting, is to the heart. It is quite possible that her own liquid diet caused her heart illness to develop. She did mention that doctors were astonished that she had heart disease because she does not fit the picture of a person who would develop heart problems.

    Diets which exclude certain foods:

    • These have become very popular recently. But it turns out that our bodies require all foods for one reason or another. Even sugar and some fats.
    • The minute someone tells you that you can't have something you crave it more. This is another reason why these diets do not work. It has nothing to do with willpower it has to do with how our mind works when we feel we are "not allowed' to eat certain foods.
    • People tend to develop feelings of deprivation for the food that is "not allowed". So when there is an opportunity to have some of it, they can't even have just a small portion, they end up binging on the food item that is "Not allowed" which messes up their dieting efforts. This reminds me of my childhood. My siblings and I were rarely allowed to have sweets. So the minute cookies or pie entered the house my siblings would devour it. By the time I felt like having some it was all gone. I remember one time when my cousin stayed overnight she asked, "Why doesn't your Lucky Charms cereal have any marshmallows?" The cereal was the only sweet item in the house. My brothers felt so deprived of sugar they'd  pick out the marshmallows from the box. In my own experience, I deprived myself of sweets when I was a young adult. Ironic isn't? I was deprived as a child then deprived myelf as an adult. Sweets was all I could think about. I did not trust myself with just having a little. Years later I finally stopped depriving myself of sweets and it turns out I really do not like them. On occasion I'll have a cookie just to prove to myself than I can, but I truthfully do not crave them. Now salty foods is a whole other story.

    As I have mentioned on several of my other articles, diets do not work and are even dangerous. Not only do they negatively affect you psychologically, emotionally and biologically, but can also cause death. I wrote this article because if it wasn't for my heart issues I would not have become aware of the dangers with dieting and I am sure many people out there are not either. The diet gurus are not going to tell you that their diet is or could be dangerous to you. Their goal is to sell you their gimmicks regardless of what happens to you.

    Also some people do not take the diet risks seriously anyway even when they are informed of the risks. If you pay attention to diet pills bottles they have a warning label on them and no one seems to be concerned.  They are still being sold. Years ago when I was a teen, a neighborhood friend was taken to the hospital in an ambulance because at the age of fifteen she had a heart attack do to taking diet pills. When Ana Nicole Smith died I wondered if it was because of the diet pills she was on. Yes she also took other drugs, but I read the labels on the diet pills she promoted and even though I was pretty ignorant at the time when it came to true health, I refrained from buying them -I got so scared.

    I hope that by reading this article people stop taking these unecessary, counterproductive and extremely dangerous risks by dieting.  In the future I will be sharing with you healthy tips to help with weight loss. I am currently my own guinea pig so if it works I will give you the information.


    "So why can't you stay on a diet? Because diets are not meant to stay on. Because diets are humiliating. Because they are built on deprivation. Because they teach you cannot be trusted. Because they usurp your private personal power: that of deciding what you will put into your own mouth, your body." -Geneen Roth

    Friday, August 10, 2012

    Simple Prosperity 4

    "When we follow our intuitive sense of  what's true and right for us, and we genuinely feel energy for, we always seem to have enough money to be, do, and have the things we truly need and want. I have seen this over and over again in my own life and in the lives of others I know. When we follow the flow of our energy, the universe always seems to support us financially, sometimes in very surprising and unexpected ways."-Shakti Gawain

    I know that one of the biggest focus on people's mind is, "How do I make more money?" Even when they have plenty of it already. Usually the reason for this is that the person has childhood issues they have not resolved. For instance, it could be that the person was made to feel worthless as a child and in order to prove their worth he/she never stops wanting to achieve more.

    Other times a person might have lived in poverty as a child. No matter how much money they make as adults, they feel poor or are afraid that they will lose some and be poor so they work extra hard to make more.

    There are many other reasons people have a wrong perception of what money could do. In my article Simple Prosperity 3 I mention how many successful and rich people discovered that money did not bring them the happiness, security and feeling of self worth they were aiming for when they pursued their riches and fame.

    This is not to say people should not try to improve their lives financially. I just believe that people need to be more realistic and know the truth of what money could bring them. Also a more holistic approach needs to be considered when the goal is to make more money.


    From what a learned about money is that not everyone is meant to be rich. Ofcourse if you have a passion like Donald Trump to be making huge deals, then that's great. But there are others who do not necessarily like doing what they do, they just want the money. Some get involved in multiple get rich quick schemes instead of pursuing something worthwhile.

    Being truly successful means not sacrificing your heart and soul in order to make more money. We have to follow our intuition as best as possible to know what is right for us. Our intuition will guide us towards work that is rewarding on all levels. We are all here to learn certain lessons in life. If we listen closely to our intuition we will be led to situations which are ideal for those lessons to be learned.

    Many of the times we are led towards healing. In the article I wrote for www.first30days.com I mentioned how my job loss gave me the opportunity to heal. I strongly believe that at a soul level the situation was created so that I would have the time and space to heal many areas of my life. I know this must be true because somehow the money came whenever I felt in my gut that I needed something which would help my healing further. I was also bombarded with free things which led to a quantum shift in my energy and in the way I viewed life.

    Prior to this my life was dull, felt very hard, and it lacked joy. I was focused on externals such as money and other material things. I disliked what I did for a living. I did it for almost twenty years.When I tried to change careers, that did not work out either. So it added one more reason to feel joyless.

    But things are different now. I could do my work every day for long hours and still feel like doing more. In fact, I have to remind myself not ignore my self-care. I get so engrossed in my work I forget the needs of the body. I am working on this though. But most importantly I am content. I feel a sense of well being and inner peace that I never had before and which money never brought me. This is usually an every day thing even when things do not turn out as planned. I also have days when I feel immense joy and nothing external has a thing to do about it.


    If you'd like to experience more happiness or joy in your life no matter how much money you make or don't make, please contact me on Facebook or carbajalzulma@gmail.com.


    "Here's another thing I've noticed:When we are committed to our personal growth and we feel we need something for our learning and healing process, if it is truly right fo us, the money will be there to do it. Many people have recounted stories to me of how an unexpected check suddenly arrived in the mail the day before a workshop they wanted to take. My feeling is that if something is right for us, the money will be there to pay for it. If the money isn't there, it may not be right for us, at least not at that time."-Shakti Gawain






    Wednesday, August 8, 2012

    Trust You Intuition When Dating


    Many women do not trust their intuition when it comes to dating because they believe that their intuition is broken. I assure you that it is not. Sometimes we get so caught up with infatuation, hope and fantasy that we do not pay attention to the gut feeling that something is amiss. You do not want to believe that the hottie you met, who appears to be crazy about you, is not "The One".

    I know this because it happened to me several times. In the end I regretted not listening to my intuition.  Even after I had done much work on myself there was this one last time I did not listen to my intuition-at first. He looked wonderful on paper. He was everything I ever wanted and based on the way he was treating me and the things he was saying to me he appeared to be head over heals as well.

    But every now and then, I would get the gut feeling something was amiss. I couldn't analyze it with my mind, like I normally do, because there really was nothing to analyze. So every time the feeling that something was wrong would come up I would ignore it.

    Then one time my intuition was not as quiet and gentle as it normally is. This time it was telling me to wake up ASAP. I did not trust my intuition completely, but I felt nudged to at least call someone I know and trust who is extremely intuitive. It so happens that her sister was there as well, who is also very intuitive, and they both confirmed what my intuition was telling me about him.  Afterwards, I broke off the relationship with no regrets.

    You will not always know exactly why your intuition is warning you. I did not know until I talked to the intuitive sisters. But your intuition is there to help you and most importantly to protect you. Have you ever had a bad feeling about someone? He seemed nice enough, but something was off? This one time a man I had been chatting with on an online dating service asked me out on a date. We talked over the phone and he seemed very interesting and charming. But he refused to meet me somewhere in public. He wanted to pick me up at my home. Nice guys do not push women to do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.  Both my mind and my intuition said this date was a no go. Who knows what this person was up to, but I am sure glad I did not put myself at risk to find out.


    Your intuition will help keep you safe. You have to learn to trust it more. Twenty years ago I did not trust my intuition when it was warning me about my long term boyfriend. My intuition was very loud and clear, "Do not open the door!" But I argued "This is a guy I have been dating for five years, sure he is controlling, and could be scary when mad or jealous, but he's cool." Only by the grace of God and the angels did I escape with my life that night.


    Your intuition also warns you if someone is lying to you or cheating on you. Everyone has intuition. Just that most of society has suppressed it. Even Donald Trump writes in his books that he uses his intuiton to make "The Big Deals". He often goes against what experts tell him to do because he goes with his intuition first. This is why he says he is so successful.

     Most of society believes intuition is nonsense, make believe stuff. I suppose I would have thought so too if I had not had been in danger of losing my life for not listening to it. If you would like to contact me for more information i could be found on Facebook or at carbajalzulma@gmail.com








    Monday, August 6, 2012

    Simple Prosperity 3

    "It is true that many people become wealthy without being conscious, because it is possible to create almost anything we focus on strongly enough. This may be the path their soul has chosen for their learning process. Usually,however, the money does not bring a sense of prosperity. It is true some people generate more money than they could handle responsibly. The problems they encountor may be part of their learning process, a wake up call for change that may jar them out of their worn out patterns."- Shakti Gawain

    I remember hearing Marci Shimoff say that there was a time in her life when her sole focus was on gaining fame and fortune. Then one day, shortly after achieving her goals, she sat by the pool at her home and she started crying non stop. She asked herself, "Is this it? Is this all there is to life?" Then began her quest to live her life more in balance with her heart and soul and as a result lives much happier. In fact, she even wrote a book called Happy for no Reason.

    Just like Marci there are countless other entrepreneurs, authors, executives, managers, motivational speakers,etc., who asked themselves the same question Marci did. Wondering if all there was to life was to accumulate stuff and money. Many were able to find the importance of balancing all parts of their being. But the ones who did not, resemble zombies. They go through their days doing the same thing as always, with no life in them. These are the people who feel stuck in jobs they hate. The ones who have affairs thinking that a new person will change things. They get themselves into debt buying toys and luxuries hoping to find that one thing that will finally help them feel content and happy. Having a close relationship with their families is not possible since they rarely spend any time with them. They think that family is of lesser importance compared to making more money to accumulate more stuff. The zombies are the ones who believe the old beliefs "Survival of the fittest"  and "It's a dog eat dog world". No wonder there is no life in them.

    I remember many times in my own life I worked hard, focused all my time and energy in something I wanted. Even when I felt exhausted and depleted I kept going. I eventually would get what I wanted but then I'd ask myself, "For what?" I would give my best thinking that in the end I will feel the fulfillment I was craving. But when I was not balanced with all parts of my being my endeavors and accomplishments actually brought me more misery.Sure in the beginning I'd feel happy, but it was only temporary. Many years were wasted repeating the same cycle over and over. Even now that I know better it is tempting to go for the money and forget about my heart and soul. But then I reflect on how miserable I was doing work with no spirit or passion.

    If this article resonates with you, please contact me and I will help you find more balance in your life. The first session is free. I could be found on Facebook or you can email me at carbajalzulma@gmail.com.

    Also I am an expert contributor for www.first30days.com. Take a look at my article in the blog section.



    "However, once we are committed to consciousness growth, we generally create only as much money in our lives as we can manage responsibly-enough to live and support our process without distracting or jeopodizing our journey. As our ability to handle energy and power matures, we tend to generate more money. We ususally receive exactly the amount of money needed in order to do the things that are truly right for us.To the degree that we follow our hearts and souls, we will experience this flow of money in our lives as true financial prosperity."

                               -Shakti Gawain

    Friday, August 3, 2012

    Dieting Facts

    The following are a few notes I collected throughout the year when researching a better way to eat in order to maintain/lose weight while being careful to keep my heart healthy. I wish I had this information years ago when I was so obsessed with perfecting my body and was so strict with what I ate.

    1. Dieting is linked to eating disorders. People who diet have a high risk of developing bulimia, anorexia, binging, overeating and sometimes all of these eating disorders.
    2. Dieting may cause stress or make the dieter more vulnerable to its effects. This happens because most diets are very strict and unrealistc to maintain long term. Since people want to be successful with their weight loss plan they become stressed out trying to stick to it.
    3. Dieting is correlated with social anxiety. People who diet end up not wanting to go out with family, friends or even date. One of the reasons is that they fear they will mess up their diet with the temptation of food that is displayed at parties, gatherings and restaurants. Or even places where the food is not the focus such as movie theatres, coffee places and fairs. Also, they fear family and sometimes friends will push food to them and they will not be able to say no. 
    4. Dieting lowers self-esteem and causes people to feel like failures.Most diets promote how easy it is to lose weight if you'd just stick to their extremely strict eating plans. Diets do not work period. But most people are not aware of this and fall for the diet gimmicks. When the diet does not end up working, instead of realizing it was the diet that was faulty, they blame themselves for not being able to stick to the diet.
    5. Dieting errodes confidence and self-trust. Instead of trusting what the body needs or eating when hungry, people listen to when the diet Guru says when and what you can eat. When you can't stick to a ridiculous diet plan, you lose trust and confidence in yourself.
    6. Dieting may also cause depression. Imagine, you find a new promising diet and you believe this time you will have the willpower to stick to it not matter what. Then your boyfriend or friend invites you to go out to this really cool restaurant you have been wanting to go to for a long time. You either decline because you are afraid to fail again with your dieting plans and choose to stay home in isolation instead to ensure you do not mess up. Or you go, but can't eat any of the magnificent dishes displayed and end up eating boring rabbit food and a glass of water. Gosh. Just thinking about it is making me depressed.


    The above are not just facts I got from health and nutrition books, but I have also seen other women experience these diet issues as well. I experienced most of them myself.

    I know a woman who refused to eat a tiny piece of her birthday cake because it would mess up her diet. This woman already has eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. She can't have children because she messed up her body so badly with her eating disorders.

    Sadly she taught her baby sister, who is just a teen, her dysfunctional eating behaviors and although she is a tall young lady and rail thin, she still sees herself as fat. She will not eat a thing that is not pre approved my her bulimic/anorexic older sister.

    While I fortunately did not develop eating disorders, the times I did try to diet I experienced stress, social anxiety, low self-esteem, feelings of being a failure, lack of trust in myself and depression. 

    Thursday, August 2, 2012

    Roadblocks

    "Welcome discomfort. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. That's where the greatest challenge and opportunity will be found. When you are too comfortable you are stagnant as well...Release what no longer serves you, which no longer makes the highest statement of you "

                                                            -Neale Donald Walsch


    I admit that change could be scary, but it is necessary. Plus it happens whether we want it to happen or not. Every day we are changing. We are usually not aware of it, but we are. This is frightening to many who want everything to always remain the same.

    I have noticed that even people who have big dreams of  living in a way that "makes the highest statement" of themselves are afraid to let go of what no longer serves them in order to embody the person they need to be to achieve their dreams.

    The following are the ways I see people sabotage themselves from creating the life they desire.

    Excuses

    I can't tell you how many people I come across who say they want to live their dreams, but are full of excuses as to why they can't. Some of them are justified, but they are still excuses. Some excuses are actually damaging the chances for growth and healing even further. I once life coached a woman who wanted to turn her whole life around. She was obese, had health problems, her husband left her, and she had low self-esteem since childhood. Every time we talked she was excited about the tools I gave her to start shifting her life in the right direction. But in the coaching sessions that followed, she would give me a bunch of excuses as to why she did not accomplish the small tasks I would give to her.

    They were little things that I suggested for her to do, such as set boundaries with family and friends; let them know when her exercise time was so that they would not interrupt her work-out. Her excuse for not telling them was that they would be mad at her if she told them she was busy maintaining her health.

    When I suggested that she stop sleeping around with men who just wanted her for sex (especially with the men that were not single) because it was hurting her self-esteem further, her excuse was that they called her or initiated sex first and besides she was lonely. When they would leave (or kick her out of their home) she would cry and binge. She did not undestand that she was getting in her own way of success by comming up with excuses not to follow through with her plans of healing,health and growth. I had to end the coaching sessions with her because every week it was the same story. She'd tell me about a new guy she slept with which triggered another binge and crying.  I understood her fear of losing friends/family, but what I tried to get her to understand was that people who get mad because you are taking care of your health and well-being do not care about you, only about themselves. Truthfully you do not need people like this in your life.


    I had another woman who said she was just too busy with family life and housekeeping to start working on improving her health like she wanted. Yet most of her days were not even spent at home. She was usually out with her friends gossiping and getting overly involved in their drama. I know this because when we'd review her successes and challenges for the week her excuse was usually that so and so called because such and such and she went over to be there for her/him. Therefore she did not get to do anything that was planned. I am not saying not to be there for your friends, but if you do not set a limit as to how much you do it, you will never have time for your own needs, much less to achieve your dreams.


    Too uncomfortable with getting out of the comfort zone


    The main reason people contact me is because they are tired of living the way they are living and need a push in the right direction. But then they do not want to let go of their old way of being in order to get what they want. When they are told they might have to reduce TV watching time or other time wasters and instead pay more attention to their own lives, they do not want to do it. Then to cover up that they are uncomfortable with letting go of these things they use "excuses" to justify why.


    Blamers

    I know a woman who blames everything and everyone for her lot in life. But blaming others is the easy way out. It blocks us from going within and seeing what we are doing to cause these things to happen. This keeps us stuck and in victim mode. There is no progress because you have given away your power to others and life circumstances. This woman is still holding on to resentments going back from childhood.  Most of the stuff she holds on to is petty and ridiculous. She is sixty something years old and she still fights with her sisters about how they were spoiled and she wasn't. No surprise she is miserable, bitter and hates life. The sad thing is that because she is so stuck on the blame game, she is blocking all opportunity for healing and from living her last twenty plus years of life in a more joyful and peaceful way. How awful to live with such negativity your whole life.


    Caretakers.

    Caretakers say that they would like to go to the gym or take a class at least twice a week, but when the time comes to sign up, they don't because someone asked her for help at the last minute even though it was neither important nor urgent. Such as taking a kid shopping. They put everyone first before themselves. It is very difficult to do anything for yourself if you always put everyone else first. There are only so many hours in a day and when running around doing this and that for others, you are just too exhausted by the end of the day to squeeze anything in for you. I know one woman who wants me to help her heal childhood wounds, but she keeps procrastinating because others require her time at the last minute.  The ironic thing is that she has taken on the Caretaking Role to the extreme precisely because she has not healed her childhood wounds. I could help this woman with her healing and in finally achieving her other goals because I also took on the Caretaking Role and know what is required. While I have healed and know the tools to help others, I still remember the unhealthy need I had to sacrifice my own well being for the sake of others. This is one of the hardest roadblocks to break without help.


    Procrastinating

    When people procrastinate it mostly has to do with fear. In fact, all of the above roadblocks have to do with fear. I will elabaorate on this on another article. When we procrastinate we usually have justifed "excuses" why we did so, but these "excuses" are actually blocking the awareness of the fear underneath. An example, there are women who do not date because they say they want to lose a few pounds first. Yet they never seem to get their focus on losing the weight. The excuse is that they have a few pounds to lose before they date. By not putting focus on losing the weight, they are procrastinating on dating. Which is actually masking a fear of rejection, commitment, abandonment,etc.


    More than one of the above roadblocks could be preventing us from achieving our dreams. Sometimes it is all of the above. You may have noticed that the roadblocks could be correlated with each other as well. As I mentioned earlier, fear is really behind our roadblocks to change and healing. Neale Donald Walsch says that fear is the acronym for "False Evidence Appearing Real", but also could be, "Feeling Excited And Ready".


    If you are "excited and ready" for "living the highest statement of you", but may have the above challenges, contact me and I will help. The first session is free which could be all you need.  I could be reached at  carbajalzulma@gmail.com or on Facebook.



    "Change has long been a fearful thing for human beings...and at the same time, it is our most Divine opportunity. Clinging to the banks of the river may seem safe and more secure, but life's possibilities are truly engaged only when we trust, release and become part of The Flow of the Universe."

                                                       -Chelle Thompson








    Wednesday, August 1, 2012

    Quantum Changes

    Time appears to be speeding up. Quantum shifts are occuring at every level. Rapid growth is happening in all parts of our being; mental, emotional and spiritual. Some are experiencing illness, but also healing and restoration.The old way of doing things is also falling apart because it no longer works based on what humanity has evolved to. This is why so many of us are experiencing extreme changes on multiple levels and different areas of our lives. It is also why there is so much chaos, confusion, and fear. It is not because it is the end the world. It is because it is the end of an era where we only see things with our five senses and our focus is solely on superficial matters.

    Those who try to cling to the old way of being and do not learn to control their ego will suffer greatly. This way of being will not bring them the peace and happiness they yearn for. They will continue to believe that they could only find happiness by acquiring external things. But as many of us have finally learned, this does not bring us happiness, peace nor well being.

    Lynn Koll wrote in the book Pearls of Wisdom, regarding this rapid change and I would like to share it with you here.


    "It feels to me like we are in the middle of highly accelerated times of personal, emotional, and spiritual growth. Many ancient philosophers have prophesied these evolutionary shifts. The urgent message from the Hopi elders is, 'There is a river flowing right now very fast. It is so great and swift, that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore, they will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know that the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open and our heads above water...We are the ones we have been waiting for.' This affirms to me that all the economic turbulence, warfare, fraud, and earth changes, are expressions of our consciousness and like a river, have their destination and purpose. They are coming to the surface to be revealed, healed and learned from...While change often brings the appearance of chaos and tragedy, acceptance and willingness to change are critical for our own happiness and for our humanity's evolution and survival...The chaos of change may actually be the necessary catalyst to rebuild our institutions based on truth, integrity, equality, sustainability and empowerment for the greatest good of all."


    Don't be one of those people who want to hold on to old ways of doing things. You will suffer greatly if you do. I know because suffering and pain is what I experienced trying to force things to be back how they were. My soul was pushing me towards other directions, but I did not want to let go because I was afraid of what would happen if I did. It turns out that my worse fears did not come to pass. While my life has been challenging, it has also been very rewarding ever since I began to practice letting go and trusting spirit to guide me.

    If you would like some help through your life transition please contact me on Facebook or at carbajalzulma@gnail.com. I am also now a regular expert contributor for the blog on the site www.first30days.com if you would like to view my article on related topics.