Quick Release of Negative Emotions

As I have mentioned on other articles, our emotions are very powerful when it comes to manifesting. Not only do they bring things faster, but they also bring them in abundance. This is wonderful when you have positive emotions because you then draw good things to yourself. But when the emotions are negative you attract more of what is causing the negative emotions in the first place.


The following is an emotional release system I use to get rid of the bad emotions when I need to get rid of them quickly.

1. Stop what you are doing when the negative emotion is felt and close your eyes.
2. Take 3 deep breaths, hold on the inhale for three counts and then release the air slowly.
3. Release the thoughts that caused the emotion. Instead focus on your feelings.
4. Let the emotion flow through your body and notice where you feel it is located. Could be in the heart area, throat, chest, etc.
5. Keep feeling the emotion for about a minute, more if needed in order for the feeling to be released. If you are finding that it is taking longer than a few minutes it could be because you are thinking about what caused the emotion.
6. If the feelings come back, do this exercise again. It could be that you have similar emotions wedged deep in your system.

Truthfully there is no such things as a bad emotion.  I see emotions as our friends who are trying to tell us something. For example when we feel anger, we could use it as a warning that either we are thinking thoughts that are not serving us or someone is doing something to us and some assertiveness is required. As I have said in several articles, just because we are spiritual beings it does not mean that we let people mistreat us or take advantage of us. Maybe the situations in which you are mistreated could be a hint from spirit that it is time to stand up for yourself for a change.

Even if the emotions are our friends, if  they are negative emotions it is best to release them as soon as possible, in a healthy way and once you have the information you need from them. This way it does not cause illness or other negative manifestations. Please note that this does not apply if you are grieving a big loss such as the death of a loved one. The above could be used in addition to the grieving process, when you feel the need for relief. But not by itself.

I will be writing more on emotions in the future. In the meantime if you would  like some assistance letting go of toxic emotions please contact me on Facebook or carbajalzulma@gmail.com

For a Healthy Body Image

For many women their main goal is to get thin. While I completely support people who want to look their best, you have to ask yourself if you have realistic standards and also why you want to be thin. The following are a few facts that I have learned about how to have a healthier body image even when it is not necessarily rail thin.

• Focus on how fantastic you feel when you exercise and how it supports your body's health. Do not exercise solely expecting to lose weight. If you do you will quit exercising, which is so important for the body's health. I remember one time a woman told me that she did not exercise because it made her gain weight. So she said she had a few more pounds to lose and then she would start exercising. This woman ignorantly thought that when she was exercising she was gaining fat, when actually she was gaining muscle. Gaining the muscle would have helped her lose weight faster. Muscle weighs more than fat. This is why men are heavier than women and lose weight faster. She also did not know that exercising would help her bone health as well. Which at her age would have been a big plus since she was showing early signs of having osteoporosis.
• Stop comparing yourself to other women, what they look like or what they are doing. We are always comparing ourselves to others, most people just can not help to do so. But the thing that we forget is that we are not meant to be or look like anyone else. Studies have shown that women who watch too much TV tend to have poorer body images than women who don't. In my own experience this was definitely true. When I would see the rail thin women on my favorite shows, I would feel bad about my physique. Looking back I have a better body image now that I do not watch TV even though my body was at least 80% more attractive then.
• Some women who have had difficulties in relationships blame their body for it. They assume that a man does not love them because they are not perfect. This is a false belief. If you pay attention you will see all the couples out there in which neither of the partners have a perfect body, yet they are madly in love. Ofcourse if your belief is that you must be perfect to attract Mr. Right then you will develop scotomas and only see the couples that are super attractive  and also attract men who expect perfection from you. These expectations are unrealistic and extremely superficial. Besides if you have been reading my articles on healing, relationships and the Law of Attraction, you will find that being thin is not the answer to your relationship problems.
• Don't fall for the illusions media and the people who sell diet books portray. You are promised to have a new life, but only if you lose a certain amount of weight. They tell you that they have the answer to do so. But if you keep falling for these tricks you will end up being one of those yo-yo dieters  whose only focus in life is to lose weight. You will live miserably because the diets do not work long term so you will blame yourself for the failure. You will promise yourself you will do better next time when you find the perfect diet for you. Then when someone tells you about another diet, it will jump-start you with hope that this new diet could be the answer. But it isn't, so the yo-yo dieting cycle continues. This is why the diet industry has been so successful for many years regardless if their gimmicks work or not. Remember if they do work it is only temporarily and chances are the diet is hazardous to your health as well. Face reality, diets do not work.
• Many women believe they must be able lose weight in order to feel better about themselves. But actually if losing weight does make you feel better it is only temporary, just like the weight loss. Plus when you regain the weight you will also feel worse than before the initial weight loss. If you have low self-esteem issues, it is more important that you work on that.  Working on your self esteem first can actually be more helpful to you in losing weight than a diet would and it is not hazardous to your health. If anything it will improve your overall health.

If

Simple Prosperity 2

I have decided that since one of the greatest needs at this time for many people is money, I will be posting articles on prosperity at least a couple of times a month. Having the scarcity of money can add much stress in one's life and make things worse because of it. Such as developing health problems.

Just the other day I met a woman at a health food store (It's funny how people I do not even know just talk to me about their challenges), who told me how much she was stressing about money, the illness she developed and how she also attracted some more stressful situations such as problems at work. This resulted having to need time off from work for a while, which only aggravated her finanacial problems.

On an article this month, I stated the importance of monitoring your thoughts. This is nothing new to most people who are familiar with the Law of Attraction. But are you actually practicing this? When we have negative thoughts we say negative things and take negative actions. In addition we contaminate others with our negativity.

I will give you an example in my own experience. Over the weekend I spent some time with my mother. Prior to her arriving at my home, I was feeling upbeat, powerful and hopeful. After a couple of hours of her arrival she started with her usual negative talk about money and other issues. In the past I would have let her suck me back into the black hole. But this time I said to myself, "This is her belief, not mine."

However, I would be lying to you if I'd told you that her negative influence did not affect me at all. She was here all weekend and after constant repetition about the miseries of life, such as the unfairness of J Lo having so much money and about how God is horrible, by night time yesterday I was feeling very down about life myself. I did not resemble anything of the woman I was before she got here.

I know that what she believes is false and I also know to keep watch, not allowing her stuff get to me. But a lot of what people say gets absorbed into our subconscious and we are not even aware of it. This is why it is so important for us not to contaminate others with our negativity. When we are allowing fear to control our lives we make others fearful as well. Some people already have their own fears and anxieties and by speaking your false views you make things worse for them and yourself. Remember what I wrote in my article Three Important Steps on The Law of Attraction about the power of your words.

When you are feeling down yourself, one of the tools that will help you shift out of your situation is reminding yourself of the TRUTH regardless of appearances. The TRUTH is that there is no scarcity of money. The reason so many of us have experienced the scarcity of money is because of our society's and parent programming in our subconscious. Our subconscious brings us what we truly believe about money and everything else that we believe about life.

Now imagine being with a person like my mother since birth. Do you think that would not affect me? This person has the power to zap pretty much everyone's positive energy within a couple of hours. Imagine being around her your whole life. Yet, I have gotten very good at releasing the toxins she brings to me. The best thing to do is avoid these low energy people. But since there are so many people like this in the world, it is not possible to always do so. Therefore you need to be able to shift your thinking when you catch yourself getting caught up with the false beliefs of others.


For more information on this article or on additional tips to shift your energy so that you attract good things to you, please contact me on Facebook.

Three Important Steps on the Law Of Attraction

If you are going through a major life change, this is the article for you. I am going to be the midwife who helps give birth to the new and improved you. I will assist you through your challenging times to get rid of the old that is no longer serving you. Yes it might have been useful, even necessary, at one point in your life. But now your past is holding you back.

The fact that your old way of living is falling apart is a sign that it is time to let the past go and get ready for the changes that are about to come. If you are resistant to change, even though life is telling you that you do not have a choice anyway, your growth, healing, and transformaton will be retarded. There are three important things to do when going through a dramatic change. This is true whether your life change is job loss, illness, death of a loved one, ending a relationship, etc. The three things are:

1. Stop your negative thoughts.
2. Release your negative emotions.
3. Stop telling it like it is.

I will describe the above first steps in detail so that you understand why they are so important and why if you do not take these steps you will remain stuck or things will get worse. I will start off with your thoughts.

I agree that it is easier said than done to stop thinking negatively when your world is falling apart. I have been there, I know.  However, if you do not find a way to shift your thinking, more negative things will be drawn to you. Worrying or over thinking a problem will not help. In fact, it will only make the situation worse. In order to come up with quick solutions you need to keep your mind free from negative thoughts. The best way to do it is to stay present. Remind yourself that right now, in this moment, you are okay. Don't think about tomorrow or even tonight. You might believe that this is counter productive. But actually when you are present, not worrying about the past or future, is when the solutions come.  In fact doing something completely unrelated to solving your problem such as walking the dog, washing dishes, showering, gardening, or cleaning is when the solutions come.

The next step, or actually maybe it should be the first because it is the most important, is to release your negative emotions. This is the most important step, but also could be the most difficult.  When I was going through my own crises (See my article What do You do When Your Life Is Falling Apart? for details), I was full of rage and rightfully so. Everyone else also agreed that I had the right to be angry, in fact they said they'd help me get revenge on my former bully employer.  But something inside of me told me that this was not the answer. Instead I began to release  my anger in more healthy ways. Such as writing, exercising, watching funny movies, spending time in nature, and not talking about my problem nor thinking about it.

 Like me, you may also have the right to be angry. But unfortunately the one who will continue to suffer from the experience is you if you do not let your negative emotions go. If you need help, talk to one of your wisest friends. Or talk to a spiritual leader from your church that you trust. Another drawback of holding on to negative emotions is that you block spiritual guidance. Our higher self, God, and the angels, speak to us all of the time. But we drown their voices when we are having negative emotions.

Also your emotions are so powerful that you will continue to draw circumstances and people of similar resonance which will only make it harder to get out of your bad situation. Not to mention all of the illnesses that are caused by having negative emotions for a long time. Such as high blood pressure, heart disease, skin problems, and even cancer. So while you are already having enough challenges, by not releasing your emotions you are harming your body and adding yet another thing on your list to deal with.

The third step is to stop telling it like it is. Most of us were not taught that the more we talk about negative issues the worse things get. Also, the more bad things and experiences you draw to yourself.  I learned this at the age of thirteen. My Junior High friend and I would spend our recess and after school time talking about our dysfunctional family life and other negative subjects. The more I talked about it, more negative stuff would come. I also found myself sinking into a deep depression.  One day, my math teacher talked to me. He noticed something was wrong and was deeply concerned. I did not tell him what was going on because as nice as my teacher was, do to my childhood home experience, I did not trust authority figures.  However, our talk (or actually what he talked to me about) planted a seed in my mind of what my future could be like.

 I started focusing on that future instead of talking about my negative situation, and before I knew, everything shifted. When I am going through hard times and find myself rehashing to friends or family about my situation, I think back to that time. I remind myself that if as a child I had that much power to change my circumstances in spite of my home life, then there is no excuse not to be able to do it now. I just need to keep my mouth shut about how bad things are. This does not mean you do not seek out help. You just have to be aware if you are doing it to get help or you just want to tell someone about how miserable you are and how nothing ever works out for you.


Another reason why the above steps are so important is that the people who are able to help you will  be magnetised towards you. If you do not follow the steps, the help will repelled. Ironic isn't? When you most need the help, you will not attract it. This is why it is so crucial to stop thinking about the negative things (As much as possible), release your emotions (As soon as you are able to) and stop telling it like it is. Only tell people about your situation on a need to know basis and give them the short version.


If you would like further assistance with any of the above, please contact me on Facebook. The first session is free and it may be all that you need.

Cosmic Love Affair

"The difference between a cosmic love affair and an earthly one is the difference between play and need. Some amount of need enters into every relationship in the material world-survival is too pressing an issue for us to feel that our life is pure play. But in spirit you only play. Your purpose is not to survive but to express every grain of passion that love arouses in you."

                                                     - Deepak Chopra


There are many more people today who are no longer interested in an "earthly" romantic relationship and desire instead to come together with someone who is willing and capable of experiencing a cosmic love affair. I describe the two type of relationships as follows:

• Cosmic Love: The couple is more interested in what they could give to each other more than what they could get. They do things for the other person because they know their partner will be pleased. They do not expect for their partner to return the favor. Earthly Love: The couple is more interested in what they could get from the other person. They rarely do things in order to please their partner. If they do, it is with strings attached,  "I do this for you if you do this for me."
• Cosmic Love: There is freedom, expansion,  and growth. Should one partner say he'd like to start night school his partner would say, "Sure, how could I help?" Earthly Love: There are rules, restrictions, and one partner always trying to control the other. If one partner says she would like to start a business the partner will say, "No you can not. You need to keep your job, I need my toys." or "No, I expect you to cook dinner every day and your schedule will interfere with that."
• Cosmic Love: The couple looks for ways to spend more time together on a consistent basis. They enjoy each other and it brings them delight to be in each others presence. Eartly Love: The couple actually tries to avoid each other. They use excuses as to why they can't do things together. Such as have to work late regularly, too tired, too busy, etc. Some even go as far as to get jobs in a different state or a job that requires them to travel so that they rarely see their spouses.
• Cosmic Love: They are their authentic selves. They accept each others flaws understanding that no one is perfect. Some don't even see the flaws as flaws. Earthly Love: They are not their authentic selves from the beginning and when their real self comes out later, there is resentment, anger, and sometimes even hate because they married a fraud.
• Cosmic Love: The couple recognizes the gift of finding each other and are truly grateful to be together. They often tell each other their appreciation for each other. Eartly Love:  They are always complaining to each other and also talking badly about their spouses to others. They often wish to seperate. In other words, they spend more time looking for their partner's flaws than at the good things.
• Cosmic Love: The couple goes with the flow on the changes life brings. They understand that life is always changing and they can not control that change. If body parts start sagging their partner will still see them as beautiful. Or if he likes to wear his casual clothes while lounging at home she understands. Earthly Love: The couple is against change. They expect things to be just like when they were dating. Even if they have kids, she still wants to get intoxicated at parties and leaves others to tend to her children. She expects him to be dressed up daily like he was while dating even if he is just at home lounging.
• Cosmic Love: The couple comes together as whole people with gifts to share, not because of some desperate need. Earthly Love: She is a shallow Cinderella with no life who is looking for someone to be her life. He is a superficial insecure male looking for someone to parade around while ignoring lack of intelligence, flaws in character, jealousy, and the fact that they have nothing in common.

If you would like to learn more on Cosmic Love please contact me on Facebook. You could also read my related article called Enchanted Love 6/22/12.

"Your marriage is play of the divine. Two spirits pretend to be separate for the sheer joy of coming together in love." -Deepak Chopra

Simple Prosperity

"When we have very little money, we fear for our very survival. Life is an intense struggle just to take care of our basic necessities. We have little opportunity to develop our talents and interests. We feel powerless and perhaps resentful when we see others with more opportunities and luxuries."
                                                         -Shakti Gawain


It is possible to experience prosperity on a low income, except when we are unable to meet our basic needs. I know this because I have experienced it myself. Once I let go of my ego needs and started listening more to my higher self, I began to enjoy simple pleasures. I also started to understand that much of the population pursues wealth for ego needs and dysfunctions in the psyche.

This is not to say you should not try to improve your financial situation if it means you will live more comfortably, be able to pursue and develop your talents, it will add much to your life and that of your loved ones. You should definitely improve your financial situation if you are not even able to meet your basic needs. But there are those who pursue wealth to compete with the Joneses, to prove their worth, to compensate for lacking in other areas (such as social skills or character), do to low self-esteem or childhood issues that drive the person to accumulate wealth when it is not really what their soul wants.

There are some people promising that you will achieve wealth if you would only buy their product or services. But what I have learned is that not everyone is meant to be ultra wealthy. Not because it is our lot in life or because God is punishing us. But because it is not what we are meant to do based on what our soul is here to learn in this lifetime. I remember the first time I heard this from a spiritual teacher I was upset. But as I started to listen to my intuition more, I realized that in my case it made sense. To someome like Donald Trump who thrives on making huge deals, raising buildings, taking big financial risks, my lifestyle would be very unsatisfactory. He is so passionate and loves what he does that he sleeps only a few hours  a day because he can't wait to jump out of bed to get to work.

Once I reviewed my core values, passions, and the important roles I played, I realized I did not need millions of dollars to be happy. Much of my workaholism was because I was so focused on earning money and gaining titles do to my low self-esteem issues not because I loved my job. In fact, I hated my job. I even had nightmares of someone taking the life out of me and that was exactly what my job was doing to me.

With Life Coaching, on the other hand, it could be Saturday or Sunday and I still will jump out of bed anxious to get started on my work. While working at my former job I had a hard time getting up at 7:30am to get to work. Now I often wake up at 4am feeling energetic, enthusiastic and excited about my day.

I have come to realize that no matter how much money I make, if I do not feel the joy that I feel now with my Life Coaching work, it is just not worth it. To me it is true that money is not everything. As long as my basic needs and those of my son are met, there is extra for our passions, interests and developing our talents, I am happy.

If you are tired of the rat race, competing with the Joneses, and would like some guidance on how to experience simple prosperity, please contact me on Facebook

Is Your Diet Killing You?

Our bodies are equipped to store fat because for centuries people would have to go a long time without food and also regularly experienced famine. Even though most people are not dealing with famine today, our bodies are equipped at the cellular level to combat starvation. Even if the starvation is voluntary. This is why diets do not work and could actually be killing you. The following are the reasons that dieting could be harmful to your health.

1. It could increase the risk premature death and heart disease. If you are a yo-yo dieter (someone who goes up and down in weight do to dieting) you have a higher overall death rate and twice the normal risk of heart disease. This is true whether you are thin or obese. Some doctors go as far as saying that staying obese could be less harmful than yo-yo dieting. In doing research on heart health, I have found that heart health experts have stressed the importance of avoiding dieting for preventing heart disease and reducing the risk of death if you already have the disease.
2. You teach the body to store more fat. When dieting, the body compensates to store more energy or fat. The ensymes that store fat double up thinking that the body is experiencing a famine. It does not matter that the famine is self-imposed, the body does not know that.
3. Slows your weight loss. This has been proven in rat and human studies.
4. Your metabolism decreases. When you diet, the body is triggered to reduce the need for energy in order to be more efficient.
5. Increases your overeating and binges. Studies have shown that when humans are restricted from food, the brain sends out a waterfall of messages with cravings to eat more.
6. Your body shape changes. If you are a chronic dieter you tend to gain weight in the abdominal area. I know several people who look deformed because of this. My sister-in-law is one of them. She is ultra thin, but she has a belly that makes her look 3-4 months pregnant. In fact, she is often asked by strangers when the baby will be due.
7. Dieting causes you to lose awareness of when you are full or satisfied. Since diets tell you when and what to eat, you lose touch with your biological needs. You stop eating when still hungry and therefore you are ravenous for your next meal which causes you to overeat or binge.

Dieting also has emotional and psychological negative affects.  If you would like to know what they are please contact me on Facebook.

What Do You Do When Your Life Is Falling Apart?

People all over the world are experiencing extreme change; job loss, lifestyle changes, ending relationships, illness or death of a loved one. In my case it was all of the above. The past few years have been the most challenging for me. But they also have been the most rewarding. The following is what has helped me handle things when my life seemed to be falling apart. I hope it will help people in their time of struggle.

1. Change is always for the better. Ofcourse it does not not seem like it when you are in the middle of the crises. This truth was hard for me to grasp when I lost my home and my job. But the worse of it was that there were days I did not know how I would feed my son. I had to go to the churches and ask for charity. My employer did not want to release the umemployment money so I had no income for seven months. Being a single mom, this added more pressure to the situation. I once heard that in order to rebuild a better foundation, everything that is no longer meeting your soul requirements has to fall apart first. Which is exactly what happened to me. It is too long a list of all of the wonderful things that have happened to me since then, but one of the most important to me is that somehow the events were synchronized to provide a haven for me to finally take the time to heal emotional wounds I was not even aware I had. Before losing my job, I was a workaholic. I worked full time and went to school full time. Prior to my son being born there were months I worked from 7:00am to 11:00pm every day. Now I understand I was doing this to suppress emotional pain. Looking back I see that since I was neglecting my healing, my soul had to do something to cause for me to finally face my wounds.
2. Everything in life happens for you not to you and also for the greatest benefit of all concerned. This was another truth that was hard for me to understand. Especially after sacrificing so many years away from my son to earn a living, going to school for a teaching degree and credential to end up losing my job and find out that the state of CA has a freeze in hiring teachers until who knows when. Needless to say I was angry, afraid and depressed. While I would not wish what I went through on anyone, some gifts did come out of my ugly situation. One of them was I got to homeschool my son and spend lots of time with him. It did not make up for the time lost ofcourse, but it helped me heal my regrets of not being around much when he was younger. Even when I was around I was so exhausted I was not there mentally nor emotionally. Another of the gifts is that I came across Life Coaching which is my true calling. I would not have discovered my passion if I had still been working where I was working or got hired as a teacher. There were many more gifts I received, which I will write about some other time. But there was also the gift I gave my cousin. When I lost my home my cousin openned her home to my son and I. I felt bad at first because I knew she was going through financial challenges herself. One night she shared with me that I saved her from her depression. She was actually contemplating suicide prior to me moving in. Helping me until I got settled gave her something else to focus on. Plus the reassuring talks we had many times helped her relieve her anxiety attacks which she also suffered from. She told me that my son I were not a burden, but a gift to her.  Plus living with her helped me bring back my joy and laughter. She is hilarious when she is her normal healthy self.
3. Suffering is an illusion and is caused by your thoughts about the challenges you are experiencing. For a long time I felt angry when I heard this. I would think, "Yeah, well the pain is very real when your son ask you what we are eating tomorrow and you have no idea." But I learned that there is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is an experience while suffering is a judgement made about the experience. The suffering I was going through was caused by my thoughts: "This should not be happening. I have worked my ass off all my life and this is what I get, can't even feed my son. I gave these people (my former employer) so much of my time and bent over backwards to please them. This is how I am repaid?  They said my son and I were like family to them, you do not treat family this way. They said they were devout Christians, they sure are not being very Christlike. This truly sucks!! I worked just as hard, if not harder than my siblings to get a degree, they ended up being financially successful and I end up not being able to even get a job in my chosen career path."  Pain is very real to us humans. Some people say pain is not real either. But I have to say that the pain I experienced when my father died was very real. The difference is that when pain comes you accept it, feel it, then when you are ready you let it go. With suffering, you are thinking about what the pain means. Rehashing it over and over. For example, my suffering was caused by thinking that because I could not get a job like my brothers did after they graduated, I was a loser. Or I was a bad mom for not being able to protect my son from knowing the situation we were in.

If you would like more information on how to handle life changes please contact me on Facebook. The first session is always free and it may be all that you need to put your life back together again. You could also visit the site forums below I regularly participate in.

www.divinecaroline.com
www.ivillage.com
www.blogher.com
www.first30days.com
http://changingchange.net