"There is wisdom born of having seen so much, experienced so much, felt so much, lost so much, found so much. This wisdom cannot be gained by staying comfortably in the same place, nor can it be won by fleeing from that which is frightening or unpleasant. It is unearthed from the depths of our being as we travel the precarious path of our own personal transformation and rebirth."
-Dr. Barbara De Angelis
My challenging times have indeed brought me the gift of wisdom. However, it took me a long time to realize that it was so because I was so focused on what was lost instead of what I had gained. It is very common for people to not pay attention on the gifts that are given to us in times of challenge and chaos. Mostly because our world is so focused on external results. However, just because everything looks good on the outside, it does not mean it is all good in the inside.
If you find yourself going through a time of great challenge or a time of transition, I recommend that you read How Did I Get Here? by Dr. Barbara De Angelis. I wish I had come across the book when everything in my life seemed to be falling apart. I would have understood that I was not a failure because I had come across roadblocks, disappointments and was experiencing so much inner turmoil.
This is what Barbara says about times of challenge in her book which inspired me to see my past life with pride instead of shame.
As I have come into my wisdom, I have learned not to define myself by what has happened to me on the outside, but rather by the metamorphosis that has occurred on the inside:
I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path. I define myself by the courage I've found to forge new roads.
I do not define myself by how many disappointments I've faced.
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.
I do not define myself by how how long a relationship lasted. I define myself by how much I have loved, and be willing to love again.
I do not define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.
I am not my pain.
I am not my past.
I am that which has emerged from the fire.
Do not define yourself or allow others to define you by what has happened to you or what you've been through. Do not define yourself by your pain or even your triumphs. You are more than that.
You may have divorced, but you are not a divorcee.
You may have a disease, but you are no sick.
You may have been fired from your job, but not without usefulness or purpose.
You may have lost someone or something, but you are not a loser.
You may have falied at something, but you are not a failure.
Your wounds are the sacred temple in which you have been transformed. They are the signs of your redemption; they are not your weakness. They are the road you have traveled; they are not who you are. Do not hide them, apologize for them or judge them. Embrace your scars. Honor them. When others notice them, proudly say:
"This is the remarkable story of how I was made brave and wise."
"This is the one of the most astonishing truths about navigating through unexpected and challenging times: When we finally pass through them, we discover that somewhere along the way, we became much wiser than we were when we began...And although we cannot identify the moment in which we were handed this treasure, it is indeed ours, the reward for our bravery and hard work."
-Dr. Barbara De Angelis
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