Live With Passion!

"Living with passion means sometimes living on the edge of our comfort zone. We are awake. We are alive. We are feeling- everything. We meet the circumstances and challenges of our life boldy. It's not that we don't feel doubt or fear-it's that we learn to make our passion for growth and truth stronger than our fear. This kind of courage isn't the same as physical bravery. It is emotional courage. Emotional courage allows you to participate 100 percent in whatever you are doing and wherever you are going." - Dr. Barbara De Angelis


About twenty years ago I was listening to a Tony Robbins tape (in those days tape cassettes were used instead of CDs) in which he talked about passion. I could tell from his voice that he was indeed passionate, not only about his work, but life as a whole.  He enthusiastically encouraged us to live with passion. However, I had no idea what passion was. I didn't recall ever feeling it. My life at the time was very gloomy. I worked at a job that was very secure (or so I thought), but I did not like. The romantic relationship I was in was no longer in the infatuation stage so some ugly behaviors and patterns began to emerge between us and our relationship was dying.

It wasn't just my work or love life that was lacking passion, it was just about everything in life. At the time I did blame my lack of passion on my work and relationship, but the truth was that I was pretty much lifeless myself and was bringing this dead energy to all parts of my life.

The only time I would become excited about life was when I'd initialy set a goal for myself. But once it was achieved the passion would be gone within a short period of time. I did not know then why this would occur. In fact, it wasn't until fifteen years later that I realized why my life was lacking love, passion, joy, desire and excitement.

The following is what I have learned.

1. I had suppressed childhood wounds and emotions.  I found out years later that when we suppress negative emotions we also suppress our joy and passion. We might be excellent actors in pretending all is well and that we are happy, but deep inside we know it is a facade.
2. I worked hard at pretending I was someone I was not in order to fit in with others. I did a pretty good job at it, but I sacrificed my authentic self by doing so. At the time I did not know that there were like minded individuals in this world so in order not to feel excluded by those I spent my time with I put on whatever mask was needed in order to fit in. The couple of times I wanted to share a part of my true self I was ridiculed and made fun of, so I completely hid my true self for a long time. You can't be passionate about anything when you are filled with shame about who you truly are.
3. I did not follow my heart. Fear kept me over analysing and stressing about pretty much everything. You can not be passionate about life if you live your life ignoring your heart and dwelling in low energy emotions.
4. My self-esteem was low. When you are not loving yourself it is very difficult to feel passionate about things. You are too busy feeling insecure, inadequate and comparing yourself with others.
5. I was way too concerned about what others thought of me. If I would ask someone what they thought about me trying something different and they'd say, "That is a waste of time. It is not necessary" or "Who cares that they need help? Do something productive" -I would forget all about the things I was passionate about and only do what was seen as acceptable to those around me. 

Not until I addressed and healed the above was I able to find my passion. The passion came from within, but I was also able to find new external things to be passionate about as well. I finally began to understand why Tony Robbins was able to say, "Live with passion!" with so much excitement and energy but also walk his talk.

Don't get me wrong, I have my challenges like most everyone else and sometimes it is still hard to pick myself up quickly. However, most of the time I feel inner peace and I am content with many periods of delight and passion. The best part is that I have learned to draw these good feelings from within and not depend on externals.


"One certain way to kill your experience of passion is to care too much about what others think. This will cut you off from your intuitive wisdom. The more careful, calculated and analytical we are, the more difficult it will be to be passionate about anything. The only person's opinion that is going to matter to you at the end of this lifetime is yours. To reclaim your passion, you must push past fear of what others think of you and do what makes you think well of yourself."

                                         -Dr. Barbara De Angelis