What To Do In The Meantime

Sometimes it could be frustrating when you have a bunch of things in life that you are working on changing and somehow you feel that all the forces are working against you to stop you. Fortunately when this happens, something always falls on my lap to remind me of what I need to do to survive the meantime experience. What fell on my lap this time was Iyanla Vanzant's book In The Meantime. I openned up to the page that I needed the most for this point in time. Here is what Iyanla suggested we do while we are "In The Meantime".

1. Love yourself no matter what! Never let what is happening or the fear of what could happen rob you of your ability to love yourself. Realize that your meantime is bound to create confusion in your thinking. However, you must also realize that where you are is exactly where you need to be. You are being guided back to love, to self-love.
2. Feel what you feel and acknowledge that you are feeling it. Before you reach out to avoid the pain, reach in and feel it. Feel any hurt, pain, confusion, or weakness. Feel your vulnerability, and acknowledge that you feel vulnerable. Once you feel whatever it is that is going on inside you let yourself know that it is perfectly okay to feel it. Do not judge yourself. Do not tell yourself you shouldn't. Feel it! Acknowledge it! Ride it out!
3. Express what you feel verbally or in writing. You will discover that it is absolutely imperative to express your feelings in the meantime. You must tell someone what you feel. If you try to hold it in, it will choke you! When this happens, more likely than not what you are trying to hold in will spill out in a very inappropriate way, at the inappropriate time. You can save yourself a great deal of stress, and possibly some embarrassment, simply by choosing how you want to express how you feel.Write it out! Talk to a friend! Call Dial a Prayer! But by all means, never try to ignore what you feel or act as if the feelings do not exist.
4. Get clear on what you want. What do you want to do? How do you want to feel? How can you create the experience for yourself? What is that you believe is keeping you from your experience? What are you willing to do to have the most peaceful version of the experience that is possible? Yes, I know these are more questions, but they are quesions you must ask if you want to get out and stay out of the meantime.
5. Do not look for or expect anyone to make your meantime better or less painful. You need to spend some time with yourself and gather up the little pieces that you have given away. If you bring another person into the middle of the process as a means of distraction, you could very well misdiagnose the cause of your ills.

"The harder you reach out, the longer the wait becomes. The more you look at others, the more desperate the wait will seem. Not until you surrender the anger, resentment, desperation, insecurities, and fear can the meantime become a meaningful experience."

                                              -Iyanla Vanzant