"Studies show that physical attractiveness does not guarantee high self-esteem. Actually great beauty can be a real handicap; it can threaten others and may be relied on so that inner potentials go underdeveloped. It tends to fade with age."
- Dorothy Corkville Briggs
I was told by a cosmotologist who works for a television show that she regularly sees gorgeous women walk in the studio and wonders how these almost perfect women could have such low self-esteem. She often listens to these beautiful women talk about the bad treatment they receive from men and how unhappy they are about their appearance. She also overhears the men brag about how badly they treat these almost perfect women and how the women still beg them to stay.
So when someone shares with me that they have not been able to find love because of their appearance, I remind them about all of the couples who are not considered attractive by mainstream standards who have found true love and about all of the gorgeous women out there who have not found love. Actually the women who believe that they are not attractive enough to find love are creating a self fulfilling prophecy with their wrong perception. Please see my previous article Do You Have a Blind Spot? 11/27/12 for more information.
What I have found in my personal experience is that what is important is that you value yourself no matter what the externals are. Read my article Core Self Esteem 11/20/12 for details. If you have been reading articles I have written on the Law of Attraction, you will find that having high self-esteem is of crucial importance for attracting good things for yourself. This is especially true when it comes to attracting a romantic partner who loves you unconditionally and cherishes you even with all of your imperfections.
I am sure you have heard that you can not love anyone unless you love yourself. Well it is also true that others can not love you unless you love yourself. An intuitive friend of mine who is also an author told me that his relationships started to transform when he began to love himself and share that love with everyone he came across regardless of the challenges the relationships presented to him in the past. He has encouraged me to do the same. To feel the part of me that is unconditional love and forward that love to others. Ever since I have been doing this my relationships have been transforming one by one. Even the ones I thought were lost causes. I also have been attracting many like minded people who bring so much joy and love into my life.
But what has been most magnificent has been how much the relationship with myself has changed. Prior to my newfound love for myself I use to believe that I must not be lovable if others did not demonstrate love to me. The opposite is true, if I truly know that I am lovable no matter what, I will attract love. Either the relationships will transform so that they resonate with your self loving energy or they will disappear. Don't worry about the relationships that begin to disappear. The Universe will not leave you empty handed. The sooner you leave or let go of the relationships that do not resonate with your loving energy the quicker they will be replaced with relationships that do.
"A fascinating thing happens when physically rather unattractive people increase their self-worth. They start making the most of their physical appearance, they dress more attractive, they choose more complimenting colors, they take better care of their bodies. So often as this change takes place, they say, 'You know, I am not so bad looking after all.'
- Dorothy Corkville Briggs, author of Embrace Yourself
If you would like to learn the simple but effective technique my friend has given me to connect with the part of me that is Divine and pure love, please email me at carbajalzulma@gmail.com
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