Real Love

Infatuation is often confused with real love. Infatuation is when you feel sparks and sexual longing towards someone you don't really know. Infatuation could be the beginning of real love, but often times it is not. Sometimes the reason for this is that once the infatuation stage is over, people think that they made a mistake in selecting the person as their mate.

What is actually happening is that you are given an opportunity to choose your partner as someone to grow with and develop real love. Real love can be very passionate as well, but in a calm, healthy way. What the movies, television, novels show us, are characteristics of the infatuation stage, not real love. But many people believe it is. So when the relationship they are in is not full drama, craziness, and intensity, they end the relationship without allowing real love to grow.

Also, people believe that real love means always agreeing with their partner. So after disagreements begin, usually right after the infatuation stage is over, they bail out or cause the other person to leave. Ofcourse, no one should stay in a relationship that is unhealthy or abusive, but if the only reason for leaving the relationship is that you are not flying high with ecstasy and passion, consider that you may have unrealistic views of real love.


If your passion for him is making you dizzy and confused, slow down and step back. It might be infatuation and not true love. A good way to know the difference is to examine how you feel. Dr. Richard Levine says that a feeling of insecurity marks infatuation. "You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. It's a bond or attachment that is not entirely based upon reasonable perspectives. It is often accompanied by suspension of rational decision making," he says. If the relationship keeps you off-balance and everything about the man is unpredictable, you may be headed for trouble.

-Janis Spindel, professional matchmaker