Are You Struggling?

Often we struggle so that we can experience what we are meant to experience here, learn from the challenge, and then teach others to do the same. A Course In Miracles teaches that the challenges that we experience are so that we can speak the language of those in pain in order to assist, support, and teach them to heal and transform their life. Without the challenges we would not know the language and would not be of much help to those in need.

While I would have prefered not to have struggled in my life and I would have liked to have had a better childhood, I could see how my past experiences have been useful to teach others. If I had the perfect life, I could not be doing what I do now to help others heal and grow. Even knowing the truth about life and sharing with others does not help those who are not ready to hear it at this time.

Let's say I had a client who was going through a difficult divorce. Imagine if after she had tearfully explained her painful experience I would have told her, "Forget about it, it's only an illusion. There is no pain." How would I have helped this client with telling her the truth? Actually I probably would have made things worse.

Because of my own past pain, illusion or not, I am able to better help others through their difficult experiences. I've had friends and some family members who seem to be living a charmed life and their childhood was all happy and fun. When I had gone to these people in the past for support, they just did not get it. They were not able to help at all. I would indeed feel worse than before I spoke to them.

In her book When Food Is Love, Geneen Roth wrote that her husband had the perfect childhood. His mother was so nurturing, attentive and loving she even made him shoes. No surprise he turned out to be a happy go lucky guy. When Geneen would have an emotional problem that was connected to a painful event in her childhood, he tried to understand, but just didn't. In fact, on one occasion he asked her, "Did it ever occur to you that your fascination with the dark side is not particularly healthy?" Geneen replied, "If I am fascinated with the dark side, as you call it, that's because the dark side has had so much power in my life. It's what I haven't recognized and felt that has dictated so many of my feelings about myself and my work and relationships. The more I move the dark side into consciousness, the less pull it has on me. I don't like mucking around in pain, but I'm willing to do it because it's the only way I know to become whole. And who knows what would happen then? Perhaps I would become the kind of person who would make my children shoes."

I don't agree with rehashing old pain to no end. But the pain does need to come out in order to heal it and release it. When we suppress or hold on to pain it creates havoc in our minds, bodies and life. Sometimes in order to heal for good you need support from a person who can understand what you are going through, but who is also able to teach you how to heal and release it for good.

If you would like support please contact me at carbajalzulma@gmail.com. The first session is free.