In Between Boyfriends

Sometimes at the end of a break-up we feel as though we failed. Even when the relationship was not very healthy to begin with. I want you to know that you did not fail. There was a reason why you were in the relationship even if that reason is not apparent to you at this time. But also, there is a reason why it ended. Don't blame yourself for the end of the relationship instead consider that it was meant to end and start thinking about the lessons learned while in the relationship so that you do not repeat the same mistakes again.

Before you get into another relationship take some time off to be by yourself. My experience, and those of many women that I have met, is that if you do not take this time off you will repeat the same relationship with someone different (or it could be with the same person) and you would be wasting your precious years with someone unworthy of you.

The first things to do after a break-up are:

1.Heal your loss. Do not do it alone though. Ask a loving friend to be your break up buddy. If you can't get over a loss and you are severely depressed consider hiring a therapist if you need to. Make sure to check a few out first to see which one you feel the most comfortable with and will help you move forward not keep you rehashing old pain for a long period of time.
2.Spend time focusing on you and what you want.When we are in a relationship most of us neglect ourselves.We forget to do all of the great things that we use to do for ourselves when we were single.
3.Work on your self-esteem. Oftentimes after a break-up we feel very low. The key to getting  back into the dating world and possibly meeting someone who does deserve you is to do things that improve your self-esteem.
4. Have fun and enjoy your life with or without a relationship. If you start dating again and your date ask you what you do for fun what are you going to say? "I sit at home, eat and think about my ex". Most importantly if you love your life and you meet someone who is unworthy you will not be willing to waste your time with that person.
5. Laugh. Not only is laughter the best medicine, but it is also very attractive. Look for funny videos and books. Spend time with friends who make you feel good about yourself.


" And remember, the best way to be a we is to don't lose your me". - Cindy Chupack, author of In Between Boyfriends and writer for Sex in The City.