- He recently broke up from a serious relationship. Although men are ready for sex right after a break-up, they are not ready for commitment. They need time to heal just as we do.
- You see pictures of his ex in his wallet, fridge, phone, bedroom or any area that he will regularly look at. He may tell you he is over his ex, but these are signs that he is hanging on to something. He has not completely gotten over her no matter what he says. He may actually not even be aware that he has not healed the relationship with his ex. This will leave no room for you in his heart.
- Pay attention to the man's age. If he is in his twenties he is likely playing the field not looking for anything serious. He may also be going to school or working himself up in the career ladder and is not thinking about committing to a woman. Men in their forties may be bachelors for life if they have never been married nor had long term exclusive relationships. Some who have been married for a long time may decide that it is time to live the single life for now on because they missed out on it when they were younger. Keep in mind that there are exceptions to the rule. You just have to pay attention to what your intuition is telling you. I have come across men who married in their twenties who are still married, but most are unhappy in their marriage. There are some who don't mind marriage, but that's because they still live as though they were single. The wife is the one who has to do everything to maintain the marriage. It is not very fulfilling for the wife.
- He disappears on you. A man who is ready for an exclusive relationship will call you almost every day and almost all his weekends will be spent with you. If he does not call you for a few days, and it is rare that you have a weekend date with him, he is just playing the field not looking for anything serious. Ofcourse, it could also be the case that the relationship is still very new, but if weeks go by, not to mention months, then he does not want anything serious with you.
- He is not very mature or is still in selfish mode. He is only around for the sex and the fun. However, when you really need him he wont be around. Like when your car breaks down he will tell you, "Call me when you get it taken care of." Instead of "I'll fix it for you after work or over the weekend." - " Let me call my mechanic to take a look at it." Or even, "Don't worry sweetheart, I will give you the money to fix it."
- He will tell you he is not ready for anything exclusive. Believe him when he does. Ask him when he will be, if ever. Do not ask on the first three dates though. Unless he is pushing for sex and wants to meet your family then ask him if you are a couple. Don't just assume that just because he goes with you to family functions you are exclusive. And definitely do not assume you are a couple if you are having sex. See my article "Don't Confuse Lust With Love" 10/26/11.
"That is it in a nutshell-every man knows this is coming up the road for him. He may not be ready for it now,but if he's not ready for it now and you are, then you don't have a good match, do you? So why waste all of your valuable years on something that's not going where you want it to go? Instead, you should seek out someone else who wants to go where you're going. I truly believe that's why there are so many women in their midthirties unmarried-because somewhere along the line, they just didn't put their foot down and move on."
- Steve Harvey, comedian and author of Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man
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